Star Wars, Star Wars, Star bloody sodding Wars. It’s still everywhere even though it’s supposed to have finished and Lucas is supposed to be firmly locked in his ranch rolling about on his vast piles of money whilst dressed as Jar Jar sodding Binks.

But no, he just can’t leave it alone. Sodding sod. There’s the upcoming not-a-movie movie, the TV series (The Wire crossed with Star Wars?! Yes please thanks) and the new videogame The Force Unleashed all on the horizon, and it’s unlikely that things will slow down any time soon.

But what does all this talk do? Well, it reminds us of all the Star Wars crap we’ve had rammed down our throats for three decades. Specifically, it reminds us of Star Wars videogames and how mixed a bag they’ve managed to be over the years. Some have been that good that you can’t help but immediately fornicate with the disc/cartridge/arcade machine (risky as the latter may be, with it being a public situation), whereas many more have been so bad it makes you wish Hitler had won.

Nevertheless, in our endless quest to list the tits off everything, here we present our definitive, mega ultra, never-to-be-questioned top five best and worst Star Wars games ever. Now you may think this list has been done a thousand times before all over the internerd and, well, you’re right. But shut up, because this time hecklerspray is talking and you better damn well listen.