game - HecklerSpray

Paris Hilton Definitely Paid For Her Own Engagement Ring

January 3rd, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Happy New Year! I’m back after a brief holiday hiatus (plus I blogged logged 40 million times in December), and boy has this year started off right! My first story isn’t even going to be about one of the Kardashians, but rather one of the reasons they’re even famous: Paris Hilton!

Paris got engaged to her boyfriend Chris Zylka over the New Years weekend, which would typically mean absolutely nothing to me because who gives a fuck about Paris Hilton anymore, right? However, everything about her goddamn engagement has me cackling like a man woman, so here I am blogging.

Review: Superman; An Exercise In Futility. With Bonus Asteroids & Kryptonite.

December 6th, 2011 By Robin Darke

There's something truly amazing about being able to download games straight to a mobile device without having to blow into a cartridge, or wipe the back of a CD and wait hours for something to install, only to crash on the first playthrough.

?Unparalleled convenience? some might say. Of course we wouldn't say that because that would be a compliment and compliments are only given once a year. You know this.

That said, mobile gaming is pretty nifty isn't it? We can choose, download and realise a game is a dud before the initial crowning is over during Toilet Time. It's as simple as a Kardashian, and almost as easy. Booyah! Unfortunately Superman is one of those games that you regret buying almost immediately after opening the app for the very first time.

What’s This Black Helix Thing All About Then?

March 16th, 2011 By hecklerspray staff

What is the Black Helix? The Black Helix is not, regrettably, anything to do with those old pencil cases that looked like massive calculators, but rather, a mindbending game that switches between the virtual world and real life. Imagine if a pixel could punch you in the face. That.

So, this new Alternate Reality/Transmedia game is running through March 2011 and wants to take things a step further, presumably ending up with some Tron-style bloodsport which sucks you through the screen.

There’s already over a thousand players who are engaged in this interactive game, which include live events, phone calls, parcels in the post, real world tasks and a final role playing event. It sounds mental doesn’t it?

Stan Lee To The Rescue!

September 22nd, 2010 By Kris Silver

Stan Lee is a God to millions of geeks everywhere and a seemingly harmless, eccentric old man to the rest of us. Lee is the former president and CEO of Marvel comics, the publisher that brought us such legends as Spiderman, the X Men and Squirrel Girl (seriously).

Why is a washed up old geek in the news I hear you ask? Well, apparently the great state of California is attempting to restrict the availability of violent video games. That is to say, the state governed by Arnold Schwarzenegger, a man who appeared in a boat load of violent films, most of which had videogame adaptations, thinks that games are bad and should be stopped before they harm the kiddywinks.

Why Both Fifa and Pro Evo Fail To Be Realistic In 2010

August 5th, 2012 By Kris Silver

Fifa vs Pro Evo. It's a battle that has caused many a forum argument and playground bullying campaign as people try to decide which provides the better footballing experience. A battle that has had fresh life breathed into it with the release of the demo versions of Fifa 11 and Pro Evo 11 on both Xbox Live and PSN.

Having spent a long time playing both the latest Fifa and Pro Evo demos I can tell you that they once again offer a broad range of differing aspects of the game? and all of them are boring and insignificant.

Wish You Could Move Like Michael Jackson? Now You Can!

August 19th, 2010 By Kris Silver

Death has been good to Michael Jackson, his songs got back in the charts, he had a film out, everyone seemed to miraculously forget about all of the kiddy fiddling allegations, none of us had to look at that weird face of his anymore and he's even got a new game coming out called Michael Jackson: The Experience!

The new game casts the player as the gloved one and utilises Microsoft?s over-hyped and underwhelming Kinect technology. A camera records the players movements and has der fuhrer von popmusik act them out in real time while a microphone allows the player to sing along and believe that they are, for that moment, Michael Jackson, except without their face melting off, more drugs in their system than every 80s metal band combined, vast collections of Nazi memorabilia and numerous allegations of child molestation (although we can easily imagine that a few people who purchase this game will fit all of these criteria).

Games Are Killing Your Kids

August 7th, 2012 By Kris Silver

Your children are addicts. Well, not really, but according to Dr Alex Yellowlees of the Priory Hospital in Glasgow they are. But why does Dr Yellowlees believe that your child?s XBOX, PS3 or Wii will violently murder your child and then molest their corpse?

The obvious answer is because he's a whole spread short of a picnic, or (more likely) he's just a press whore.

?Dr? Yellowlees, who offers Personal Life Coaching Consultation as well as sensationalised sound bites, believes that our children are at risk of becoming addicted to videogames as parents look to games as a method of keeping their kids quiet for a few hours.

SLACKERJACK – Climbing Ninja

December 22nd, 2008 By Stuart Heritage

If, like us, you enjoy online games that make you curse because your brain isn’t quite as fast as your hands, then you’re going to love Climbing Ninja.

All Climbing Ninja asks you to do is climb up a rope, occasionally hopping across to other ropes to collect coins on your way up. But then the spikes start coming down. And the blades. And you’ll get confused and start swinging into them. And then there are the monkeys. We’re pinning the terrible headache we’ve currently got on Climbing Ninja, but that doesn’t mean we’ve stopped playing it.

SLACKERJACK – Street Fighter

December 19th, 2008 By Stuart Heritage

Screw it, it’s Christmas. Here’s a classic – Street Fighter. Or, you know, not actually Street Fighter, but a dodgy flash knock-off of it. Christmas!

If you’ve played the real Street Fighter, you’ll know how to play this one. Most of the characters are there, all the controls are in the game and away you go. Best of all, we’re pretty sure that there’s definitely never going to to be a movie adaptation of this flash Street Fighter. And if there is, Kylie almost certainly won’t be in it.

Play Street Fighter now

SLACKERJACK – Jigcircle

December 19th, 2008 By Stuart Heritage

With Christmas rapidly approaching, you should really be preparing to get your jigsaw on. After all, if you can’t spend the festive period joylessly slotting pieces of cardboard together, you’re obviously some sort of moron.

Until then, though, here’s Jigcircle. It’s like a jigsaw, but in a circle. Do you see? In actual fact, Jigcircle is more like one of those slidey tile games than a jigsaw – you’re presented with a mangled-up picture and asked to spin a bunch of circles around until you’ve unmangled it. It’s easy, it’s fun and you don’t need to be hammered on supermarket wine to enjoy it. What’s not to like?