Articles tagged with: fur
Khloe Kardashian would rather go naked than wear fur, but it's important not to confuse Khloe Kardashian with her sister Kim. Because, while Khloe Kardashian would rather go naked than wear fur, Kim Kardashian would rather go naked, set up a video camera, roll around on a bed and boff a man whose tongue looks like it's being remotely-controlled by a man from The Henson Company than wear fur. But still, nice try. Meanwhile, some dogs have just started an 'I'd rather be bludgeoned to death for my fur inside an abandoned Chinese warehouse than see Khloe Kardashian's arse again' campaign. Unrelated, we're sure.
Fur coats are important to Lindsay Lohan - sometimes they're all that stop her prematurely withered cha-chas from the elements. However, some people - some French people to be precise - don't approve of Lindsay Lohan's continued endorsement of animal fur. As such they've felt the need to attack Lindsay Lohan, and attack her with a starchy baking ingredient. too. To put it bluntly, someone threw flour at Lindsay Lohan this weekend, and it made Lindsay Lohan sad. But it also made Lindsay Lohan's boyfriend Samantha Ronson furious. Furious enough to dash to her computer and thrash out an angry dollop of screed about it on her blog. So it must be serious - Sam Ronson only uses her blog for important matters, like politics and private matters and reality TV shows and that time she totally just spent like six hours playing Guitar Hero until her hands were sore. You know, the big stuff.
When hecklerspray thinks of PETA, we think of the time they rushed our house and 'rescued' a boa constrictor we were keeping in several shoe boxes we'd taped end-to-end-to-end until it passed our dear old grandmother.
Now when Aretha Franklin thinks of PETA, she has a different experience all together. 'Tax saviors' may be the term that first comes to her mind. That's because they've just promised to pay all her back house taxes on one condition... she must kill her only child! With a cheese grater! And meat spices!
Aretha Franklin can't help being badly dressed - when you swell up as large as she has, fashion is just a case of cutting a head-hole in the prettiest tarpaulin you can find.
And it gets worse, because animal rights warriors PETA have now declared Aretha Franklin to be the worst dressed celebrity of the year, thanks to all the fur she wears.
It's a fair title too, because Aretha Franklin is easily crueler to animals than any other celebrity. Look at it this way - if Eva Longoria wears a fur coat then maybe 40 animals died to make it. But when Aretha Franklin wants a fur coat, hunters have to kill and skin every single furry animal on the face of the planet - and shave off their own pubes - just to almost stretch over half of one of her gigantic wobbly upper arms.
You know Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, the young twins who you've barely ever thought about in your entire lives, especially recently?
Yeah, PETA bloody hates them. Although Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are just living the sort of life that people of their youth and wealth are expected to - riding around in carriages made of knitted saffron, employing small Taiwanese children to cling onto the soles of their feet and act like super-chic screaming shoes, eating spacedust through straws made of the spines of deceased international dignitaries, that sort of thing - PETA has singled the pair of them out for the full brunt of their abuse because they wear fur coats now and again. That's right, PETA doesn't call them Mary-Kate And Ashley Olsen any more - it calls them Hairy Kate and Trashley Trollsen.
And that's fighting talk right there.
Eva Mendes doesn't love animals as much as a normal person does, you know - Eva Mendes loves animals so much that she's compelled to get her bum out for them quite a lot.
Animal rights group PETA has just revealed Ghost Rider star Eva Mendes as the latest face, spine and bare arse of its 'I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur' campaign, in an effort to show the world how foolish and disgusting people who do wear fur-based clothing are. So - on the basis that Eva Mendes will stop being naked when the inhumane fur trade realises how cruel and irresponsible it's being - we're going to outside, chop up a monkey with a pair of scissors and turn it into a nice pair of furry slacks.
