Fresh from its victorious sinking of the Tumblr Trawler, Webthump is here to receive your adulation!
Well, not quite. We’ve donned our fisherman’s waders to have a carcinogenic rummage in the foetid, elbow-deep cesspool that is the Internet. All to bring you something to gawp at while fondling your shriveled genitals. We could have been doing something useful with our time, like whittling voodoo dolls of Russell ‘new relationship’ Brand from old lolly sticks.
From the congealed masses of pornography and dead Myspace pages we’ve managed to dredge up a few sparkling gems of entertainment. We’ve brought you 10 of the best, worst and weirdest that mankind’s collective intelligence can vomit up.
Read More >>>
This week hecklerscope has been tirelessly fiddling with the planets in order to bring you a completely accurate and not at all fictional account of what lies in store for you this week and all because in our own way, we love you.
You’re like the children we never wanted.
Ready to be dazzled and amazed? Well are you? You’d better be because reading the movements of celestial bodies is thirsty work (please send alcohol to numb this awful weight which we carry, okay?).
Read More >>>
Hello. You’ve landed on the hecklerspray Super Bowl 2012 liveblog. Here, you’ll find a limey’s confused view on proceedings, complete with drunken ribaldry, American snack reviews, arrogance, a willful disregard for spelling and enough lame jokes to fill the average American’s cavernous gut. It’ll be great. Abuse and pedantry always welcome.
Remember when Janet Jackson invented the term ‘wardrobe malfunction’ at the Super Bowl? That was good wasn’t it? In the old days, it was just called ‘flashing’ or ‘exposing yourself’, which is clearly what happened, but Janet’s people had to pretend it was an accident.
Well, people are a little nervous of a nipple being shown at the Super Bowl halftime show this year, mainly because no-one in their right mind wants to see Madonna’s rock-hard gym-sculpted banger on view, all sinew and veins.
And mercifully, she’s promised that this won’t be happening.
Read More >>>
Super Bowl Sunday is nearly upon us, leaving 99.9% of the Great British public absolutely nonplussed. The remaining 1% is made entirely of 3 super fans and a host of the curious. Still, that shouldn’t stop us looking at it.
See, the Super Bowl is one of the most peculiar events on the planet. It’s probably the biggest sporting event that is honest enough to let-on that, basically, the game itself is the least important element of it.
And there’s so much else to pick at. The commercials are a big talking point, not to mention the halftime show (this year, featuring Madonna). One of the best things about American events is the need to sing the awful and saccharine National Anthem. With that, we are going to look at some of the worst renditions of the Star Spangled Banner, EVER.
Read More >>>
What’s this? You’ve managed to survive another week? Congratulations! Now look, we’re the first to admit that we sometimes get it wrong. But not this week. This week, we’re bang on. Trust us. We’d never lie to you. Let’s look at what rotten luck awaits you this week. It’s your own fault for being born.
Aries (Mar 21-Apr 20)
The planets are playing a song for you …’Love is a stranger in an open car, to tempt you in and drive your far away’…sorry, not love. Abduction. We recommend staying in this week.
Read More >>>
Well, knock us down with a feather. It must be that time of the week again. The time when we force our hands into the stinking, wretched filth that comes into the hecklerspray mailbox.
To give you an idea of what our mailbag actually resembles, allow us to paint you a picture. With words. Imagine taking a bowl of delicious, ripe fruit and writing a series of misguided, offended or just plain idiotic messages on each pieces and then leaving it to rot. Then imagine putting the pulped, putrid remains of the fruit into a plastic carrier bag and leaving it in a very humid room for a couple of weeks.
Read More >>>
Once again, we’re here to bring you amazing insights into your life! Aren’t you lucky?? Well, actually no. Probably not. Were our predictions correct last week? Of course they were, we don’t just make this stuff up you know.
This is science.
You probably thought it was all mumbo-gumbo, but when did anyone ever accuse Prof. Brian Cox or Patrick Moore of mumbo-gumbists? No, like us, they are properly scientific when they stare at the stars. And so, let our gravitational pull deflect advice your miserable, miserable way.
Read More >>>
