Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
One of my favorite comebacks of 2018 was Amanda Bynes. She recently did the cover of Paper Magazine, which was huge for her, given everything she’s been through with her mental health and drug addiction.
However, before her Paper Magazine interview she did an interview with Hollyscoop to clarify some of her 2013 trainwreck tweets, and ended up giving me my favorite celebrity quote of 2018.
The Golden Globe nominations were announced yesterday, and needless to say, I was not impressed. Sure, a lot of cool and deserving people got nominated, but one key person was snubbed and that was Toni Collette.
This year, Toni Collette starred in Hereditary, a horror movie that is also one of the best reviewed movies of the year. Critics called it the new The Exorcist, and it was fucking PHENOMENAL. But what made the movie was just how fucking good Toni Collette was in it.
Sorry sorry sorry. I know this was supposed to be posted yesterday, but I’ve got two kids under 4, ok?! Last year I predicted that, thanks to some cool upcoming projects, 2018/2019 might be the great return of Lindsay Lohan. And, in a sense, it kind of was.
Lindsay was in the media more than ever these past few months, however, it hasn’t been for her acting abilities, but rather her lack of dance ability (oh, and her attempts to kidnap some Syrian kids…ffs, Lohan).
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me: A Bieber who got married! That’s right, bitches! I may have been slack on my blogging these past few months, but the HecklerSpray countdown to Christmas advent is BACK! And we are ringing it in by celebrating some of the quickie engagements this year that turned into quickie marriages.
While Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson might not have made it down the aisle, Justin Bieber and Nick Jonas did! In fact, Nick Jonas got married TODAY!
Well, it’s an early Christmas miracle. Hell has frozen over and Kim Kardashian has purchased a bra, because I officially like Ariana Grande. There, I said it. If you think I’m a sell out and an idiot for now liking Ariana, you clearly haven’t seen the music video for her new song, “Thank U, Next”.
In the video, Ariana pays homage to some classic early 2000’s gems such as Mean Girls, Bring it On, 13 Going on 30, and Legally Blonde. She also cast Kris Jenner in the role she was born to play: Regina George’s “cool” mom. Needless to say, it was epic.
Is pretentious, existential douche bag Jaden Smith actually dating rapper Tyler, the Creator, or is he just being an exhausting, new-age Shia LaBeouf who things being Queer is very very in right now so he might as well hop on the train? That is the question that this blog asks.
Ever since Jaden Smith broke up with actress Odessa Adlon, he’s been insisting that Tyler, the Creator is his boyfriend, which is getting a little annoying, since I really think he’s completely full of shit.
Years ago, I made a Facebook status saying “On a scale of 1-10, how whacked on ecstasy was Kim Kardashian in her sex tape with Ray J?” I mean, girls jaw was going so crazy she could’ve cracked a jawbreaker in one bite.
Well, on the most recent episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians (aka the Kardashians admit or deny shit we all already know to be true), Kim admitted she was super high on ecstasy during her sex tape, to which I respond: duh, bitch, we know.
In case you’re not in the know because you don’t get Us Weekly updates to your phone like I do, Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan split up after like a million years of marriage and it was super sad but apparently very amicable. Now Channing is dating singer Jessie J and Jenna is dating some non-famous dude and all seems to be well.
All except for the fact that for some fucking reason the internet has decided to constantly post side-by-side pics of Jenna and Jessie and debate over who is prettier. And guess what? Neither of these women are here for this shit.
Remember just a couple of months ago when Kylie Jenner was getting rid of her fillers and looking more like herself and…well…less like one of those weird sex dolls? Yeah, those were simpler times. However, if you thought that Kylie was going to stay au natural, think again, bitch.
Over the past couple of weeks, Kylie has taken to Instagram to reveal what I shall call Kylie Jenner 7.0. The latest Kylie Jenner model is part Kylie Jenner 4.0 (think late 2016) and part Totally Hair Barbie circa 1994. Weird flex, but ok?
Before I even get started, I’d like to point out for those of you who don’t know that Good Luck Chuck is a shitty Dane Cook movie from like 15 years ago about a guy named Chuck, and every time a girl breaks up with him she ends up marrying the next guy she dates. Just to clarify where this is going…
As most of you know, about 13 seconds after breaking up with Selena Gomez for the millionth time, Justin Bieber got engaged to his ex-girlfriend, Hailey Baldwin (and now they’re apparently married?), and it seems like Selena’s ex, The Weeknd, might’ve followed in Bieber’s footsteps.
