Say what you like about Kelly Osbourne, but… no, seriously. Say whatever you like. We’re not Kelly Osbourne so we’re not going to defend her. That’s because she’s rather fond of doing it for herself.
See, Kelly has had a privileged but awkward upbringing, and so, as some coping mechanism, developed a really loud mouth.
If you go after her, she’ll probably huff and puff and yell your house down. So, when an ex of hers starts slating her on twitter, she’s not likely to take it lying down is she? Especially when she’s still grieving over the loss of her friend, Amy Winehouse.
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You know Khloé Kardashian right? She’s the one who got her boob out on TV. She’s the one who makes us angry because we have to put an accent on her name. She’s the… uh… she’s one of the Kardashians. Those guys. The identical rich women who totter around doing… uh… y’know… famous shit.
So what famous things is Khloé doing now? Well, she’s showing excellent celebrity sympathy after her husband killed someone with the Butterfly Effect. No, KK’s husband, Lamar Odom, didn’t lob the DVD case of Ashton Kutcher’s ‘The Butterfly Effect’ at someone ’til they died. Owners of that particular movie are more likely to take the casing to themselves in a hope to end the ordeal of having watched such an awful, awful movie.
What has actually happened here is that Odom has managed to play dominoes with vehicles, seeing some poor sod getting killed at the end of the cause-and-effect.
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You may not be able to put a face to the name Ryan O’Neal without looking at his picture, right. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t read this article. That’s because O’Neal is a monumentally fucked-up man, and you love a bit of that, right? Scum.
See, Ryan was famously the partner of Farrah Fawcett… and well, he’s been addicted to meth and, according to his daughter, he keeps trying to have sex with his children.
That’s got your attention hasn’t it?
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Michael Jackson did not want to be buried. Everybody knows this – plus there’s no plot of ground that could possibly hold his greatness anyway.
On top of that – it’s common knowledge that in a 1987 Esquire magazine interview he clearly stated that upon death, in place of burial he wished his skeleton to be disassembled and turned into the world’s smallest roller coaster. As we understand it, his jaw bone was to be the car, and he envisioned mostly mice riding it.
Well whatever happens to his body – it’s not happening on his birthday. His funeral’s been pushed back again.
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Remember that show Louis Theroux did with the charming folk of the Westboro Baptist Church, you know – the ones who picketed funerals of servicemen in Iraq and people who died of AiDS? Well, guess who’s gonna gatecrash Heath Ledger's funeral?
You see, Heath Ledger starred in Ang Lee’s Brokeback Mountain as a gay man. And so, the Church (who, it must be said, do not represent the views of the Christian majority) have released a statement:
"Heath Ledger thought it was great fun defying God Almighty. [He] is now in Hell and has begun serving his eternal sentence there."
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