The great thing about the US general election is that everyone has an opinion – it doesn’t matter how fat, bald, gay, shortsighted, badly-dressed, gap-toothed or non-American they are.

Elton John is all of these things, so his say is much louder than someone who is only one or two of those things. And Elton John, he say “Hillary Clinton.”

Elton John has played his New York fundraiser concert for Hillary Clinton, and raised about $2.5 million for her campaign in the process. And then he opened his mouth and said that everyone who didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton can go to hell. Which, yes, technically does include Elton John, but he was already going to hell anyway so it doesn’t matter. You can’t write a song like I Am Your Robot and expect to get away with it.

There have been so many celebrity endorsements of the various candidates running for president this year that it’s left us a bit giddy. And celebrity endorsements are just so pointlessly woolly anyway that they’re hardly worth making.

Really, does anyone care who Heidi Montag supports or what Jack Nicholson thinks? And, really, will an endorsement by Sarah Jessica Parker’s five-year-old son influence voters one way or another? Actually, OK, yes, Sarah Jessica Parker’s five-year-old son probably will influence a lot of voters. You can’t argue with political aptitude like that.

The latest celebrity hoping to tell the public what to think is Elton John. That’s quite a comfortable role for Elton John to take, because he’s always telling us what to think, whether it’s that the internet is stupid or that young people dress badly or that an Elton John-branded scented candle is actually an essential purchase.

And now Elton John is telling people to vote for Hillary Clinton. Elton’s much-anticipated Clinton fundraiser took place last night, and was a rip-roaring success in every conceivable way. Except, you know, the bit where Elton John told everyone to go to hell. Reuters reports:

At the fund-raiser which Clinton’s campaign manager said raised $2.5 million, John said there was no one more qualified to lead the United States into the next era. “Having said that, I never cease to be amazed at the misogynistic attitude of some people in this country. And I say to hell with them. The reason I’m here tonight is to play music, but more importantly as someone who comes from abroad, and is in America quite a lot of the time (and) is extremely interested in the political process because it effects the whole world.”

And Elton John is completely right. Not about the going to hell thing – we’re sure there’s an equally severe punishment for people who don’t vote for Hillary Clinton, like being forced to watch Hillary Clinton’s Sopranos parody again and again. Plus maybe people just want to vote for someone whose chances of securing the Democratic candidacy are a bit less statistically near-impossible.

But, anyway, Elton John was right about the result of the US election having an effect on the whole world.

In fact, the world changes a little bit every time that any country changes governments. So hopefully Elton John will be ready to fight the good fight when the Republic of Palau has its presidential election on November 4. Nothing hypes up them Palauians more than a quick burst of I Think I’m Going To Kill Myself, you know.

Read more:

Clinton supporter Elton John laments U.S. misogyny – Reuters

If you thought that the US general election only appealed Americans, think again – British tubby gay bald gap-toothed piano players with vision problems are also mad into it.

And since the only British tubby gay bald gap-toothed piano player with vision problem in existence is Elton John, we must mean him. Elton John is throwing down on the side of Hillary Clinton, and is holding a fundraising concert in New York next month to prove it.

No doubt Elton John's concert will raise a lot of money for Hillary Clinton – it'll basically be the same as his Las Vegas show, but with all the glamour and sex replaced with hectoring speeches about immigration reform. Good old Elton, always giving the people what they want.

The race to become the Democratic candidate in this year's general election isn't going to won or lost with speeches or debates or detailed policy explanations. No. It's already become clear that the Democratic candidate this year will be chosen by celebrities.

And that's right and just and true, because people get sad when celebrities die and they'll barely even notice when you die. Plus your wife would leave you for Ben Affleck in a second, but you don't stand a stinking chance of even ever getting within 250 feet of Jennifer Garner.

And the race to gather the most celebrity endorsements is spookily echoing the actual voting. Barack Obama has more celebrity endorsements, but they're all from rubbish celebrities like The Grateful Dead and Robert DeNiro and Zach Braff and Jessica Biel. Meanwhile, every time it looks as if Hillary Clinton is falling fatally behind in the celebrity endorsement race she'll slam back into contention with a video by a scary old megastar like Jack Nicolson.

And now Hillary Clinton might just be edging ahead, because she's convinced Elton John to play a fundraising concert for her in New York next month even though hes not even American, as the Washington Post reveals:

The British pop icon — who was knighted by HM Queen Elizabeth II — announced today he will be performing to raise money at a Hillary Clinton fundraiser April 9 at Radio City Music Hall in New York… Elton John sent an e-mail today alerting Clinton supporters to the planned performance, including a pricing schedule that will include two tiers of showgoers, those who buy box office seats at $125 or $250, and those who grab choice seats at prices of $500, $1,000 or $2,300 — the maximum allowed for a campaign contribution.

Radio City Music Hall seats 6,000, so there's bound to be a lot of money raised for the Hillary Clinton election effort. However, let's not forget that the Hillary Clinton campaign will have to pay to stage the show itself – and once Elton John has his dressing room filled with flowers and candles and fountains and chocolate statues of himself, we wouldn't exactly be surprised if Hillary Clinton ends up so poor that she has to hitchhike to Pennsylvania next month in return for several grisly handjobs.

But, aside from the short-term financial impact of the concert, will the support of Elton John – a foreigner who hasn't had a US number one for 17 years – help gather up more voters for Hillary Clinton? Hardly – at this point, voters have already hardered into staunch support for either Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton. Sure, there might be a few remaining swing voters around, but none of them will vote until they know who Lindsay Lohan wants to win.

Read more:

Elton John to Croon for Clinton – Washington Post