Articles tagged with: Friend
Throughout the ages one thing and one thing only has kept the world spinning - friendship. Yes, friendship is such a powerful force that it last through war and bloodshed, through pestilence and turmoil. And if you are blessed enough to have a friendship with say, a chain smoking girl DJ with whom you share a Facebook account last name, well you are lucky indeed. It's because those are the kinds of friends that last. And you gotta keep other people away from those friends too. That's because those are the type of friends everybody wants for themselves. Lindsay Lohan knows this. Yesterday we reported that she recently used vulgarity and possibly a little alcohol puke in the corner of her mouth to rescue her greatest chum from the talons of an Olsen twin who was just about to fly away with her forever. People, we've found the Facebook page.
As a person currently using the internet, chances are you don't have any friends. But Paris Hilton wants to change all that right now.
Because Paris Hilton wants you to be her friend. Well, not you obviously. Someone who's a little less likely to stab her in the eye in a fit of rage within 20 seconds of meeting her. You know, someone who - shudder - actually likes Paris Hilton.
Yesterday Paris Hilton launched her new reality TV show, entitled Paris Hilton's My New BFF - short for 'best friend forever'. The show was going to be called Paris Hilton's My New BFFTPOASLRTSAICINS - short for 'best friend for the purposes of a short-lived reality TV show and I'm certain it's not sincere', but BFF's just that little bit snappier.
Normally when Paris Hilton needs a new friend, she goes to a puppy mill and buys one that she can stuff in her hand bag. Since the world-wide puppy shortage, however, that has become impossible. She's tried filling that void with other animals, we heard, but the goldfish died in her mascara case and her squirrel kept trying to store nuts deep inside her. Picture yourself at a million-dollar luncheon, and acorns keep dropping out of your pant-suit. Untolerable.
Paris Hilton has given up her solo friend-search now, and is letting MTV find the yin to her yang, the Japan to her Germany, and the mindless cult to her Charles Manson. Via reality TV.And if you don't feel enticed enough to apply yet, keep in mind we're pretty sure one of her eyes is a Johnny Depp piece of eight. Certainly that is worth your consideration.
