French - HecklerSpray

Léa Seydoux Nude is Everything You Expected (59 PICS)

A lesbian chick with blue hair. A Bond girl. A French assassin. She’s done it all. And gotten naked quite often while doing it. That’s why we love Léa Seydoux and you should too.

Apart from having a really hot body, she’s intelligent, cute and sexy all at the same time. Known for her legendary work in Blue is the Warmest Color, Seydoux is another French actress who’s super comfortable with her body. Which is why she’s pretty much naked in more than 70% of her films. Not that we’re complaining. We love this chick.

Eva Mendes Talks To Her Dog In French, Which Is Fine Because They’ll Answer To Anything

February 8th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Do you have a dog? Word to the wise – no-one actually cares. It’s your stupid, gristle-munching crap-factory and no-one else wants to deal with it outside of occasional petting of it when we have to visit your fur covered home that smells like dog’s teeth.

That’s because dogs are stupid. They’re impressively stupid. They walk into things, frighten themselves when flatulent and will forever be fooled by someone pretending to throw a ball for them. Dogs, in short, are idiots.

With that, someone ought to tell?Eva Mendes who is ten shades of thrilled that she talks to her dog in French and is bowled over that it knows what she’s on about. Or rather, it has no idea.

Gerard Depardieu Takes A Leak On A Plane Again, This Time, Dressed Like Obelix

September 6th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Ah, Gerard Depardieu! It doesn’t really matter what you do with your career now because you’ll always be remembered as that drunk French guy who had a wazz in the aisle of an Air France plane.

WAIT!

What’s this? He’s at it again? This time, dressed as Obelix from Asterix? Really? How brilliant. Can we keep him?

Gerard Depardieu Wasn’t Drunk When He Emptied His Gaul Bladder On A Plane, Which Makes It Alright Then

August 19th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Ah, Gerard Depardieu. He’s a daft old drunk isn’t he? When he emptied his bladder in the aisle of an Air France plane, we all chuckled about the effects of alcoholism in mental actors, but alas, we were all hugely wrong!

See, Gerard wasn’t drunk at all! He really wants to point out that he was as sober as can be.

Which surely, makes the whole ‘getting your chap out before a load of passengers and then taking a steaming leak all over the carpet’ thing considerably worse, right? Is he saying that being drunk is more shameful than wazzing in public?

Gerard Depardieu Gets His Lad Out On A Plane And Unloads It In The Aisle

August 17th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Gerard Depardieu is the world’s most unlikely sex symbol, what with him having a face like a bear ravaged buttock that belongs to a scaly vagrant. Yet, the ladies love him! Is it because he’s a suave, refined man?

Well it can’t be that, given that this week, the French actor decided to have a massive piss in the aisle of an Air France plane.

No seriously.

The Apprentice: Melody Takes Over the World

August 5th, 2012 By Jacki Evans

Last night The Apprentice dabbled in poor Franglais and mildly racist yet entirely subconscious accents. Yes, Lord Sugar sent his minions to Paris to sell their crap to the French. He wants international business people, you see, as you?can't take over the world if your company?s only in the UK.

Unfortunately for everyone else, Melody was the only one who could actually speak French, setting in motion her plan for world domination. She's like The Brain, but with better eyeliner. And Leon was her (slightly more attractive) Pinky.

Before Melody could get cracking with taking over everything though, Lord Sugar needed to rejig the teams. Helen got booted over to Venture, where Susan put herself forward for project manager, despite seemingly having no idea what France even is. That was OK though, because she got to play with fun little products, like the kiddy?s chair and the kiddy backpack. She clearly missed it when Lord Sugar told her to act like a ?Big Person? at the end of last week.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers Feeds His Fist To A French Waiter

June 25th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

When Jonathan Rhys Meyers isn’t running around New York unknowingly looking for his stupid musical prodigy son, he’s punching Frenchies in the face. It’s his passion, don’t you know.

Chances are you read that opening sentence and thought to yourself – “Yet another thing I have in common with that weird-eyed actor.” Well who doesn’t share that lust? Right? We absolutely love punching things that are French – be they sliced potatoes or Sarkozy ex-wives – we just want to give ’em the ol’ salty knuckle.

Of course – we’d never do it publicly. That’s where Meyers loses us.

WEBTHUMP! Monday 10 November 2008

August 6th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

10 – This little French girl has just been given a five-picture movie deal in Hollywood. Someone, please, animate this…

9 – Our current favourite kid’s TV show. No joke here, we just like watching it a lot – iPlayer

8 – Thom Yorke releases a song for Barack Obama. Guess what? It’s sort of miserable – NME

7 – Stinky farts explained. By SCIENCE! – Livescience

6 – Top ten hip-hop videogames. Included here only for the inclusion of the Wu-Tang Clan beat ’em up – Formatmag

Myspace Trawl – Telepopmusik

August 5th, 2012 By Matthew Laidlow

For some reason, the UK has taken it upon themselves to hate every other nation in the world.

Mostly through headlines on grubby downmarket tabloids, we are always reminded to hate the Germans because of the war and the Scottish due to an old butchering rivalry, with the other country that deluded working class white boys high on cider and bad drugs seem to hate being France.

Now why should we hate the French? They’ve given us plenty of things to like – from wine, through Va-Va-Vaoom and even a strange love of horse burgers (it’s like a tough steak). Granted, the last choice is more for animal protestors to piss and moan over.

But no, getting drunk off a Frenchman’s grapes isn’t good enough; we have to assume they all eat baguettes, cycle everywhere on crap bikes and wear necklaces of garlic instead of buying stuff from H&M. Thank the lord for Telepopmusik then eh?

Lily Allen Delivers Street Justice on Video. Also: Swears a Lot.

March 24th, 2009 By Ian Dransfield

Lily Allen – she’s that one who had pink hair, a godawful TV show and is generally a waste of space.

Yeah, that sounds about right. Well now it would seem she’s got herself into MMA – that’s mixed martial arts – with some hardcore street fighting action. Well, hardcore may be a bit far, but Lily Allen did go and try to beat up a random French girl for insulting her.

And we shouldn’t forget that she also managed to swear like a navvie, and she managed to do all of this in front of about 32,000 paparazzi and other press hounds. Not a bad effort, we have to say. But to top off all the topping offs that could be topped off, there’s a video too – and it’s after the jump.