Articles tagged with: French
When Jonathan Rhys Meyers isn't running around New York unknowingly looking for his stupid musical prodigy son, he's punching Frenchies in the face. It's his passion, don't you know. Chances are you read that opening sentence and thought to yourself - "Yet another thing I have in common with that weird-eyed actor." Well who doesn't share that lust? Right? We absolutely love punching things that are French - be they sliced potatoes or Sarkozy ex-wives - we just want to give 'em the ol' salty knuckle. Of course - we'd never do it publicly. That's where Meyers loses us.
For some reason, the UK has taken it upon themselves to hate every other nation in the world. Mostly through headlines on grubby downmarket tabloids, we are always reminded to hate the Germans because of the war and the Scottish due to an old butchering rivalry, with the other country that deluded working class white boys high on cider and bad drugs seem to hate being France. Now why should we hate the French? They’ve given us plenty of things to like - from wine, through Va-Va-Vaoom and even a strange love of horse burgers (it's like a tough steak). Granted, the last choice is more for animal protestors to piss and moan over. But no, getting drunk off a Frenchman’s grapes isn’t good enough; we have to assume they all eat baguettes, cycle everywhere on crap bikes and wear necklaces of garlic instead of buying stuff from H&M. Thank the lord for Telepopmusik then eh?
Lily Allen - she's that one who had pink hair, a godawful TV show and is generally a waste of space. Yeah, that sounds about right. Well now it would seem she's got herself into MMA - that's mixed martial arts - with some hardcore street fighting action. Well, hardcore may be a bit far, but Lily Allen did go and try to beat up a random French girl for insulting her. And we shouldn't forget that she also managed to swear like a navvie, and she managed to do all of this in front of about 32,000 paparazzi and other press hounds. Not a bad effort, we have to say. But to top off all the topping offs that could be topped off, there's a video too - and it's after the jump.
Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable. When mental imagery of a divining rod is conjured up in one's mind, the picture of a man and a stick looking for water on the old frontier will no doubt be one of the first. Dowsing, as the art is called, has been around for ages. A long-dead Frenchy named Jacques Aymar was particularly good at it. He didn't stop at finding measly water though - he was reportedly so proficient police would call on him to dowse his way to murderers.
Eva Longoria's husband Tony Parker is denying that cheated on his wife with French model Alexandra Paressant so strongly that he's suing X17 for $40 million over it.
X17 is the picture agency that first published reports - along with text messages apparently proving it - that Tony Parker had slept with Alexandra Paressant after meeting her for the first time at his own wedding, partly because he was fed up about Eva Longoria yammering on about how sperm gives you acne all the time. But Tony Parker denies having sex with - or even ever meeting - this model so strenuously that he's after $40 million in damages.
Incidentally, if $40 million is the going rate for not having sex with models that you've never met, then we've estimated that we're owed roughly all the money in the whole wide world. Cash is fine. Or a cheque. Or food. Scraps of food. We're so hungry. Anyone?
