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Coldplay Try And Do A Radiohead

by Matthew Laidlow

Last year the music industry cacked itself senseless as Radiohead decided to break the monotonous music industry procedures.

Others have since copied Radiohead and given their music away for free. And today another major band is set to do the same. Coldplay may not be everyone’s band of choice, but anything free is usually welcomed by all.

At 12.15pm GMT, you can download new single Violet Hill for nothing! Though we recommend visiting at 1pm as the website will probably crash due to heavy web traffic passing through early on. And because you don’t like Coldplay enough to download it immediately. Nobody does.

Not quite as spectacular as Radiohead, but still shows that big bands are shunning the traditional system of distributing music. However, if you do want to own a physical copy of the newColdplay single, you can sell your soul to the NME. It plans to give away a 7” copy of the single along with a non-album track.

To download the single, visit www.coldplay.com

Last year the music industry cacked itself senseless as Radiohead decided to break the monotonous music industry procedures. Others have since copied Radiohead and given their music away for free. And today another major band is set to do the same. Coldplay may not be everyone’s band of choice, but anything free is usually welcomed by all. At 12.15pm GMT, you can download new single Violet Hill for nothing! Though we recommend visiting at 1pm as the website will probably crash due to heavy web traffic passing through early on. And because you don't like Coldplay enough to download it immediately. Nobody does. Not quite as spectacular as Radiohead, but still shows that big bands are shunning the traditional system of distributing music. However, if you do want to own a physical copy of the newColdplay single, you can sell your soul to the NME. It plans to give away a 7” copy of the single along with a non-album track. To download the single, visit www.coldplay.com
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Brace Yourselves: Foxy Brown’s Out Of Jail

by Stuart Heritage

We’re not joking. Lock your doors, strap down your children and only go to sleep if you’re wearing full body armour – Foxy Brown is out of jail.

On Friday afternoon Foxy Brown was finally set free from Riker’s Island jail, where she’d been serving time for probation violation stemming from a fight with some manicure workers.

And, although the world has changed drastically in the eight months since she was first imprisoned, Foxy Brown has gone all out to prove that she’s changed even more. In fact, Foxy Brown has publicly stated that she believes God put her in jail for a reason. Which is actually true – it’s just that the reason happened to be that Foxy Brown is a mental lunatic who couldn’t be more violent if you cross-bred her with a wasp.

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Nine Inch Nails Gives You Rubbish Music For Free! Viva La Revolucion!

by Stuart Heritage

These days it seems like you’re not a real band unless you give your music away for a fortnight and then triple the price of your concert tickets for the privilege.

Radiohead did it, The Charlatans are doing it, and now gloomy old Nine Inch Nails are sort of vaguely doing it a bit as well. Sort of. A bit.

Nine Inch Nails are releasing their 36-tack instrumental album Ghosts I-IV on the internet for free, with the option of spending more to upgrade to something a touch swankier. Truly, historians will look back on this day as the moment when Nine Inch Nails really shook up the long-established Miserable Ambient Wank That Nobody Would Have Paid For Anyway industry. That’s right Trent! Stick it to the man!

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Dog The Bounty Hunter Free Of All That Mexico Kerfuffle

by Stuart Heritage

His racist-seeming mouth may have got his TV show yanked off air, but at least Dog The Bounty Hunter is no longer a wanted man in Mexico, and how many of us can say that?

Well, all of us probably. Anyway, Dog The Bounty Hunter has lived with the threat of extradition to Mexico over his head for some time now, after an ill-advised bounty-hunting jaunt there in 2003, but now a Mexican court has dropped his charges.

Dog The Bounty Hunter’s a free man again! Finally he’ll be able to ditch that ridiculous disguise of his and live his life normally again.

That is a disguise, right?

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Kiefer Sutherland Finally Out Of Jail

by Stuart Heritage

When a celebrity goes to jail, they tend to only spend about a tenth of a single traumatic nanosecond banged up – but not Kiefer Sutherland.

Kiefer Sutherland was released from jail just a few hours ago, having served all 48 of his 48-day sentence for DUI. And, now he’s out, Kiefer Sutherland gets to wear his ‘full sentence served’ badge like a war medal around his prematurely-released ex-con celebrity counterparts.

Obviously the only celebrity other than Kiefer Sutherland to serve their full sentence recently was Paris Hilton. We think this means that Kiefer will end up painted gold in a desert for a canned champagne advert soon or something.

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OJ Simpson Out Of Jail, But Officially Arrogant & Ignorant

by Stuart Heritage

It takes a brave man to yell at OJ Simpson with his reputation – well, a brave man or a rubbery-faced woman on a wooden bench, one or the other.

OJ Simpson was in jail between Friday and yesterday because he broke court orders and left a voicemail for Clarence Stewart, one of his alleged accomplices in the armed robbery he’s accused of staging.

And yesterday, before freeing him, Judge Jackie Glass decided to explain why this was wrong to OJ Simpson, by basically bellowing the words “Arrogant!” and “Ignorant!” at him until everyone in the courtroom ended up deaf and crying.

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Who’s The Jackass Now?

by hecklerspray staff

No one could have predicted how much fun it was going to be watching as the music industry, having tried to ignore the power of the internet for ages, suddenly realised it was being over run and was well and truly in the shit.

And if the music world getting its knickers in a twist about the internet wasn’t entertaining enough, now the world of getting baby crocodiles to bite your nipples and drinking mouthfuls of horse-sperm is up in arms about it, too. In short, the new Jackass movie will be released on the internet for free tomorrow.

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