freddie mercury - HecklerSpray

Buddy Cop Bowie: The Thin White Dick

September 14th, 2012 By Tony McMillen

Something?s just go well together: Shoes, socks. Skrillex, deaf people. Shark Week, masturbation. But one perfect pairing has until this moment been left criminally unexplored: Eternally cool, sexually ambiguous, glam rock demigod David Bowie and his many classic duets combined with the testosterone laden, homo-erotically underpinned, cinematic trope of the buddy cop action movie.

No more will these two great tastes that taste great together be tasted separately. Let's reimagine all of David Bowie?s most famous duets as buddy cop action movies.

Review: Dancing on Ice – Ruining the Concept of “Duels” for Everyone

August 5th, 2012 By Jacki Evans

What springs to mind when somebody says ?duel?? People flouncing about with swords, trying to kill each other? Yes? Well, forget about that. Because this week, Dancing on Ice brought us the least threatening duels of all time.

There were no swords. There was no serious injury. There were just two celebrities on the ice at the same time, skating one after the other, and wearing vaguely coordinated outfits.

And the prize for winning the duel? Did they get to use their skating blades to hack their rival?s costume to pieces? Or to inflict some dramatic but non-lethal wounds upon them? Or steal their partner? Or do anything? Anything at all?

Ethereal Michael Jackson/Freddie Mercury Duet Gets The Post-Conrad Murray Trial Nod

November 14th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

If you were asked to sum up the Jackson family, how would you do it? Some people might call them the greatest collection of siblings who ever entered a recording studio. Others might comment on how inferior Janet and LaToya were compared to Tito, Jermaine and Randy.

Most people would say that the entire family were complete fruit loops.

However, we?d like to comment on how the Jackson family manage to pick the worst possible time for any new release. A brand new greatest hits album from Michael followed weeks after heart went all funny and of course, there was the tribute concert that was accidentally scheduled at the same time as the Dr. Conrad Murray trial. Some would say this was done for financial gain.

Brian May Thinks You Like Queen Because You’re Common

November 10th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Queen are a terrible band aren’t they? Overblown, pompous, noodly bollocks for people who can’t bring themselves to dance or listen to anything with a trace of funk. They’re so white they’re borderline Aryan.

Still, there’s obviously a huge market of Stock Broker Rock and Queen have hardly struggled throughout their career.

But what is it that people like about them? Well, if you ask Brian May, it’s because they “speak for common people”.

Katy Perry Gives Dead Freddie Mercury A Rousing Happy Birthday Message

September 6th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

Quick everyone! Raid the cupboard for party poppers and get out your best bunting to decorate the living room. Today sees Freddie Mercury turn sixty five and a day!

However, Freddie is yesterday?s news and has already been forgotten about. But here at hecklerspray, we won't let a new Google image or Twitter hashtag see his memory simply forgotten.

Just like the whitefro wearing sell-out Brian May, we want to flog the birthday of Freddie Mercury to death. And oh look! Here comes Katy Perry!

Google’s Doodle Reminds Us Why Queen And Freddie Mercury Were Awful

September 5th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

For reasons we don’t rightly care about, Queen and Freddie Mercury have been honoured with a Google Doodle. It probably marks the first time Fred avoided a dentist appointment.

Either way, this tribute only serves to remind us of why Queen are such a loathsome group. And there’s a lot… A LOT… to dislike about stupid Queen.

And Queen have been irritating the world, decade after infuriating decade, unwilling to quietly slope away and leave our ears and eyes in peace. Queen: Let us count the ways in which we truly hate you.

Ali G and Borat star Sacha Baron Cohen To Play Freddie Mercury In A Film About Queen – May Or May Not Include Buck Teeth Prop

September 17th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Sacha Baron Cohen is taking a step away from mocking the working classes of various countries in an attempt to ultimately make stupid people look even stupider on the screen (obviously, we’re talking about Ali G and Borat here) in favour of playing Freddie Mercury.

This is the latest in a long line of Let’s Flog The Dead Horse That Is Queen, thanks to the surviving group member’s lack of talent.

Unless, of course, you count Brian May’s penchant for wearing clogs and notoriously having curly hair a ‘talent’.