Did you hear that? Seal up his tomb! Superglue the lid of his coffin down! Someone wants to kill Michael Jackson!
This is serious! Michael Jackson can’t be allowed to die more than once this year. That’d just be careless on his part. What? Oh, Michael Jackson received death threats before he died, but the FBI has only just got round to releasing the files? Oh, OK. Well they’d better be good death threats to justify being in the news, then?
What? Someone threatened to kill Michael Jackson, everyone at a Michael Jackson concert and the president of America in order to get half of Michael Jackson’s estate and catch the attention of an unnamed woman? Oh the FBI, this is the greatest Christmas present of them all.
