David Letterman couldn’t keep his old chap in his trousers around various interns and got blackmailed about it and it was all very unpleasant. However, cheating on your wife is nothing compared to the damage done to American thinking by Fox News and a chap called Andrew Breitbart who recently were on the receiving end of a rather sweary and fiery diatribe from the talk-show host.

In a show that saw Letterman interviewing Rachel Maddow (who is, for the record, a really splendid human) on the Late Show, they got round to discussion important stuff. Of course, hecklerspray doesn’t normally cover The Big Issues, but these issues have swear words in them, so we’re cool.

Over the jump is a video of Letterman uncharacteristically swearing and getting very political and, to be perfectly frank, it makes for some very, very good television.

Unless you work for Fox or are a frightened white conservative.

In the segment, whilst railing against political bias or whatnot, Letterman spits:

“How much time was wasted by this asshole fucking around?”

This “asshole” is Andrew Breitbart who is paid to get news coverage and edit it in such a way that it says the complete opposite of what it intended.

Watch this video and find out more.

For years now, we’ve been wondering when this simmering tension between LL Cool J and Sarah Palin would come to a head.

And now, thank God, it has. Although not in the way we thought it would – we assumed that LL Cool J and Sarah Palin’s bickering would eventually give way to a raw explosion of red hot animal lust and the pair of them would end up tearing each other’s clothes off so that they could have all kinds of urgent, graphic sexual intercourse in a variety of incredibly public locations until a riot van came along to hose them both down. But, alas, that isn’t the case at all.

Instead LL Cool J has ordered Fox News to remove an old interview clip of him from a show that Sarah Palin will host. Which is probably the outcome less likely to make you suffocate on your own vomit, admittedly.

OK, we admit it. We didn’t know that there was any tension between Sarah Palin and LL Cool J. This is for two reasons: 1) we weren’t strictly aware that LL Cool J was still alive and 2) we just assume that Sarah Palin causes so much tension wherever she goes, what with her crazy ideas about God and voice so shrill that it sounds like a sealion being pushed down some stairs, that nobody notices each time she upsets someone new.

But apparently there is tension between Sarah Palin and LL Cool J, and it’s just exploded into a full-blown feud. It started when LL Cool J – a 42-year-old man who still calls himself LL Cool J – learnt that Sarah Palin – a 46-year-old woman who still has trouble stringing lucid sentences together – was planning to use clips of a two-year-old interview to illustrate a point on Fox News’s Real American Stories. Naturally LL Cool J took to Twitter over the matter, tweeting:

Fox lifted an old interview I gave in 2008 to someone else & are misrepresenting to the public in order to promote Sarah Palins Show. WOW

After initially claiming that it didn’t need his permission to repurpose the interview, Fox News eventually relented and removed the interview from Palin’s show. In a statement, head of programming Bill Shine said said:

“Real American Stories features uplifting tales about overcoming adversity and we believe Mr. Smith’s interview fit that criteria. However, as it appears that Mr. Smith does not want to be associated with a program that could serve as an inspiration to others, we are cutting his interview from the special and wish him the best with his fledgling acting career.”

That’s fighting talk right there, especially when you realise that LL Cool J has been acting for 25 years. A retort now seems inevitable, at which point Sarah Palin will probably cut in with a few barbs of her own. Then there’ll be trouble. We don’t want another Biggie and Tupac unfolding, not least because Sarah Palin has a proven track record of shooting things from helicopters. LL Cool J doesn’t stand a chance against her.

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No. Just no. There’s a line, it was already crossed and now it’s being urinated on from the other side. This has to stop. Right now.

One more time, for the road, Miley Cyrus has got half naked, someone has taken photos and one more time, for the road, they have been uploaded on to the internet. And we all know how very much the world of the internet loves pictures of 15-year-olds in small amounts of clothing.

She’s fifteen, people. Stop it. If this were a no-name young girl from Bognor Regis then whomever uploaded these pictures would probably receive something of a slapped wrist by the local authorities, but because it’s a superstar Disney child-celeb it’s all fine to go plastering half the internet with scantly-clad photographs of her.

Go on – search for it. You’ll find them on supposedly respectable sites, including FOX News. This is the same FOX News that cries crocodile tears and attempts to whip up public outrage every time anything ‘immoral’ happens in the world. Apparently a small girl in her underwear doesn’t qualify for that same outrage – in fact, it’s news.

If you’ve resisted the tempation to look at these near-naked photos of a child doing the rounds then well done, you’re one of the few that will be allowed to survive the hecklerspray armageddon, which will allow us a fresh start in a world free of the absolute filth of the earth gutter scum that seem to be propagating everywhere the ex-Hannah Montana is popping up.

Not content with appearing on the front of Vanity Fair and making some people – apart from her dad, seemingly – uncomfortable with the semi-nudity on show, Miley went on to have about thirty thousand different pictures of hear nearly with her clothes all (mostly) off and stuff.

Obviously the tweeny little thing apologised for all her actions and went back to work as normal with her Disney cohorts. But she just couldn’t help herself, could she? No, like every other person in the world since the advent of Myspace, she decided she simply had to take even more pictures of herself with very few clothes on.

Kids are idiots, aren’t they? Especially ones very much in the public eye. Either that or they’ve become even cleverer than they’ve ever been and are involved in campaigns to make adults around the world feel slightly uncomfortable with the imagery they are confronted with on supposedly reputable news-based websites.

But no – we aren’t going to judge Miley Cyrus for this. She’s either been very stupid or very smart, and either way she’s grabbed herself a ton of new headlines. No, we’ll go for those of questionable morality that seem to be having so much fun plastering the internet with these images as news.

We now live in a world where it has become acceptable for $14 million to be paid for pictures of babies, and where photographs of an underage girl posing with little in the way of clothes has become front page news – with the pictures (or at least links to the pictures) posted alongside the report.

But at least we can still wait for the ultimate test, to see how low these people will really stoop. According to FOX News:

“DigitalGangster.com allegedly has even more scandalous images of Cyrus.”

Let’s see if the world will actually post what is technically child porn as news. Go on. Let’s really see how fucked society has become.