Articles tagged with: Fox
Futurama Gets Thawed 991 Years Early (For 26 All New Episodes)
Remember 2003? Sure it was a long time ago - but let us jog your memory. The sky outside was often gray and dreary, flowers refused to bloom and the Internet bed linen industry absolutely boomed because bedridden people were too depressed to drop turd all the way over in the toilet. Well no more - because Futurama has been un-cancelled. And we're not talking about four more straight to DVD movies either - we're talking about 26 new episodes on Comedy Central. You still don't believe us? We don't blame you. We're sorry we ever told you we're half-brothers with Coolio. Trust restored.
Remember 2003? Sure it was a long time ago - but let us jog your memory. The sky outside was often gray and dreary, flowers refused to bloom and the Internet bed linen industry absolutely boomed because bedridden people were too depressed to drop turd all the way over in the toilet. Well no more - because Futurama has been un-cancelled. And we're not talking about four more straight to DVD movies either - we're talking about 26 new episodes on Comedy Central. You still don't believe us? We don't blame you. We're sorry we ever told you we're half-brothers with Coolio. Trust restored.
Fox Makes A Fat Bachelor
Generally speaking there are only a few places we really don't want to ever see overweight people: Going anywhere wearing our pants, suspended above us descending in a parachute, or full-frenzied inside a sneeze guard with their sneakered feet perched in the sliced tomatoes. Anywhere else, though, and we'll take them. That's because we love the heavy, and always want to know everything about them. For instance, do they fall in love? Probably not. But if they do we'll all get to see on Fox's new show - billed as The Bachelor for fat guys, which we actually find quite rude.
Generally speaking there are only a few places we really don't want to ever see overweight people: Going anywhere wearing our pants, suspended above us descending in a parachute, or full-frenzied inside a sneeze guard with their sneakered feet perched in the sliced tomatoes. Anywhere else, though, and we'll take them. That's because we love the heavy, and always want to know everything about them. For instance, do they fall in love? Probably not. But if they do we'll all get to see on Fox's new show - billed as The Bachelor for fat guys, which we actually find quite rude.
Watchmen: Fox & Warner Bros Put Their Handbags Away
It would have been awful if Fox managed to block the release of this year's Watchmen movie, wouldn't it? Because what would we have to be disappointed about then? The weather? Our jobs? The way we can't grow a proper beard? No, Fox didn't want to just block Watchmen - it wanted to block our right to be chronically disappointed by Watchmen, and that wasn't on. Luckily, though, the crisis has been averted. Fox and Warner Bros have resolved their legal squabble, and Watchmen is coming out as planned. That means our plan to slag it off before we've seen it remains intact! Yay!
It would have been awful if Fox managed to block the release of this year's Watchmen movie, wouldn't it? Because what would we have to be disappointed about then? The weather? Our jobs? The way we can't grow a proper beard? No, Fox didn't want to just block Watchmen - it wanted to block our right to be chronically disappointed by Watchmen, and that wasn't on. Luckily, though, the crisis has been averted. Fox and Warner Bros have resolved their legal squabble, and Watchmen is coming out as planned. That means our plan to slag it off before we've seen it remains intact! Yay!
Fox Realises That Prison Break Is Rubbish, Three Years Too Late
If you happen to enjoy ridiculous television shows that can pointlessly tread water for three entire seasons, we have some bad news. Prison Break is no more. Fox Entertainment President Kevin Reilly has decided that Prison Break's fourth season will be its last. This will no doubt come as a shock to the solitary homeless man who didn't think that Prison Break got cancelled in 2006 anyway. So Prison Break may be dying, but let's focus on all the positive things it gave us - like Wentworth Miller and that hour a week where nothing good was on TV so we could read books instead.
If you happen to enjoy ridiculous television shows that can pointlessly tread water for three entire seasons, we have some bad news. Prison Break is no more. Fox Entertainment President Kevin Reilly has decided that Prison Break's fourth season will be its last. This will no doubt come as a shock to the solitary homeless man who didn't think that Prison Break got cancelled in 2006 anyway. So Prison Break may be dying, but let's focus on all the positive things it gave us - like Wentworth Miller and that hour a week where nothing good was on TV so we could read books instead.
Watchmen Saga Takes Another Interminable Twist
One of the movies that everyone is most looking forward to being profoundly disappointed by this year is Watchmen. That's if Watchmen is released this year, of course. Thanks to a petty squabble between Warner Bros (which made Watchmen) and Fox (which says it owns the rights to Watchmen), nothing looks certain any more. And now one of the movie's producers, Lloyd Levin, has waded in on the issue by writing a letter calling everyone at Fox big old smellyheads. We're paraphrasing. So Watchmen still might not be released this year. That's OK, we're sure we'll be just as disappointed by Terminator Salvation.
One of the movies that everyone is most looking forward to being profoundly disappointed by this year is Watchmen. That's if Watchmen is released this year, of course. Thanks to a petty squabble between Warner Bros (which made Watchmen) and Fox (which says it owns the rights to Watchmen), nothing looks certain any more. And now one of the movie's producers, Lloyd Levin, has waded in on the issue by writing a letter calling everyone at Fox big old smellyheads. We're paraphrasing. So Watchmen still might not be released this year. That's OK, we're sure we'll be just as disappointed by Terminator Salvation.
24: Stomping Back Onto TV On January 11
For all this talk of change, one thing must remain the same - the humourless blonde men who torture foreigners and never pee. That's right, we're talking about Jack Bauer. And fortunately our prayers have been heeded - Fox has announced the exact airdate that the new season of 24 will return to our screens. Following the Africa-set TV movie prequel being broadcast on November 23, the two-day, four-hour 24 season premiere has been scheduled for January 11 and 12. That genuinely can't come fast enough for us - 24 has been off our screens for so long now that, and we're slightly ashamed to admit this, last time we saw a man of Middle Eastern descent, we weren't immediately gripped by a kneejerk urge to tie him to a chair, submerge his feet into a bucket of water and then electrocute him while screaming at him to tell us the nuclear disarmament codes. Jack Bauer would be so ashamed of us.
For all this talk of change, one thing must remain the same - the humourless blonde men who torture foreigners and never pee. That's right, we're talking about Jack Bauer. And fortunately our prayers have been heeded - Fox has announced the exact airdate that the new season of 24 will return to our screens. Following the Africa-set TV movie prequel being broadcast on November 23, the two-day, four-hour 24 season premiere has been scheduled for January 11 and 12. That genuinely can't come fast enough for us - 24 has been off our screens for so long now that, and we're slightly ashamed to admit this, last time we saw a man of Middle Eastern descent, we weren't immediately gripped by a kneejerk urge to tie him to a chair, submerge his feet into a bucket of water and then electrocute him while screaming at him to tell us the nuclear disarmament codes. Jack Bauer would be so ashamed of us.
Watchmen Won’t be Watched by Men, if Fox Get Their Way
Everybody seems to be getting in on the comic book-to-movie adaptation thing, with easily one of the most anticipated being that of Watchmen. While normally this would be greeted with trepidation and a slight amount of fear, the sheer quality of the source material, combined with the fact that the film is supposed to actually be, y'know - good - has people sweating around the groin, awaiting next year's release. That is, unless Fox have their way and ban the film from ever coming out. Oh, we're not kidding here - that's what they're trying to do in the latest of legal battles that shows just how the company is actually forged from Satan's testicles themselves. There's evil, then there's Fox evil.
Everybody seems to be getting in on the comic book-to-movie adaptation thing, with easily one of the most anticipated being that of Watchmen. While normally this would be greeted with trepidation and a slight amount of fear, the sheer quality of the source material, combined with the fact that the film is supposed to actually be, y'know - good - has people sweating around the groin, awaiting next year's release. That is, unless Fox have their way and ban the film from ever coming out. Oh, we're not kidding here - that's what they're trying to do in the latest of legal battles that shows just how the company is actually forged from Satan's testicles themselves. There's evil, then there's Fox evil.
Fox Tells FCC To Kiss Its Digitally-Obscured Genital Region
There's a constant battle in America between the FCC - which believes that you go to hell as soon as you see a nude body, even your own - and the titty-loving TV networks.
And the latest scrap to break out is between the FCC and Fox. You see, half a decade ago, Fox showed some digitally-obscured boobs on a barely-remembered reality TV show and the FCC has just decided to fine it $91,000 for doing so. However, Fox is refusing to pay the fine, calling it "arbitrary and capricious, inconsistent with precedent, and patently unconstitutional."
By doing so, Fox has kick-started a hard-fought ideological debate about morals, indecency, ethics, free speech and censorship that could change the shape of American broadcasting forever. Plus it's about boobies. Wheeeee!
