Articles tagged with: football
Do the 18" spinning rims on your lawn mower get rain-spotted because you don't have any kind of a structure to keep it in? Is your rake plated in gold but you'd never know it because it got lost under a pile of leaves last fall due to piss poor tool organisation? Whenever you're in the Home Depot do you think your experience would be better if only the air was a touch more skunky? Well have we got good news for you - You may be able to solve all those issues soon with the help of Snoop Doggy Dogg. He's selling his old garden shed on eBay. That's right, on eBay - so someone like you can help keep up hip hop's proud tradition of extremely precise lawn care.
Football: technically a funny old game. Made more so with ex-England football team manager Steve McClaren, in his new role at Dutch side FC Twente. The man with a head that is home to a hair island and a face that wears a frighteningly creepy smile at all times has been spotted in the wild at his new job in the Netherlands, attempting to talk to the press. Now, far be it from us to mock the man, but, well - we had enough ammo to go on before this, and now he's just gone and set us up for life. He'll never have to behave like a twit again, he'll never have to do an awful job as England manager then blame it on everyone/thing else and he'll never have to talk utter, utter tripe ever again. Because this clip says everything about Steve McClaren you would ever want it to. The man is clearly deranged - there cannot be any other explanation for his decision to adopt such a stunning 'Dutch' accent. He actually sounds like your dad on holiday, trying to talk to a waiter who can only manage broken English.
If there’s proof that footballers will sell themselves out for any sort of product, we’ve found it. Part-time granny-lover and occasional striker for Manchester United and England, Wayne Rooney, has put pen to paper on a new £150,000 deal. Fortunately for Wayne, he’s not being paid to stay away from the finest pensioners that various brothels up and down the country have to offer, he's instead going to try and concentrate on tucking into a portion of bread. We mean with his teeth. Not his winky. You perverts.
On shows like You've Been Framed, the hosts always go out of their way to point out that nobody got injured during any of the pratfalls.
Here, though, we wouldn't be so sure - it's a video of some kids taking a run-up and booting a concrete football as hard as they can. Again and again and again. If you
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Before you all reach for your pens and start scribbling uplifting heroin-influenced poems and sonnets on the side of your KFC family bucket, we must point out that Pete Doherty hasn’t joined forces with Colonel Sanders.
We are sad to say that as yet there's been no endorsement between fast food retailers and dirty-looking indie types. To anyone who automatically believes that KFC conjures up images of greasy chicken and workers who don’t know what they're doing, there is in fact another KFC out there.
KFC Uerdingen, to be precise, are a cash-strapped German lower league football club. But instead of asking the bank for help, they’ve decided that Pete Doherty would be more useful.
Though it can be argued that Spider-Man, Batman or the Sandman could have been a better choice.
