Terrible breakfast of shit, Mumford & Sons, want us to listen to them talking about their next album. As if it wasn’t enough that we had to endure their beige, tepid, tuneless, flaccid music in the first instance. And don’t say ‘Don’t like it, don’t listen’ because they’re bloody played EVERYWHERE, ALL THE STUPID TIME.
Anyway, they’ve got some new, awful material to release. You’re probably wondering what it sounds like.
Well, according to the self imposed trampery that makes up the band, the new album will sound like “Black Sabbath meets Nick Drake”. Forgive us while we puncture the vital, thick veins that run down our necks, now.
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According to various reports, Bert Jansch has died. He may not have been hugely famous, but this is sad news all the same… and we’re going to tell you why.
Jansch was a titan of the folk scene who inspired many artists ranging from Led Zeppelin to Blur’s Graham Coxon to The Smiths’ Johnny Marr. He’s arguably one of the finest guitarists the world ever saw, mercifully eschewing awful axe-wielding and 30 minute guitar solos.
The legendary Scot has suffering from lung cancer for a good number of years now and it would appear that he’s finally succumbed to the disease (although, everyone is awaiting confirmation of his death, thereby potentially making us all look a bit stupid with these pre-emptive tributes). Either way, this is a perfectly good time to look at some of his best music.
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Liam Gallagher, a man who facially resembles a cross between a Dickensian henchman and a brain damaged howler monkey, is well known for holding certain controversial views on the world around him. He’s the kind of gent that, if he were punch a GPS satellite out of the sky for ‘looking at him funny’, most people wouldn’t be 100% surprised.
Now, the former front brother of Oasis has decided to launch into a fashion crusade in an effort to clean up the image of some of music’s biggest stars. The bowl-cut-toting funster’s love of the finer fashions have often seen comparisons drawn between him and some of the most flamboyant characters in modern celebrity and fashion.
Who can forget that parka that he wore at Glastonbury 1996, T in the Park 1998, V Festival 2005, Knebworth well, actually… pretty much every live show that Oasis have done**. Still, it had a nice furry hood and was very practical in the winter, according to his mummykins.
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Folk music has been taking a bit of a kicking of late with bands and artists claiming folkiness by virtue of the fact they bought themselves an acoustic guitar and couldn’t find someone to drum for them.
And so, the circle jerk of self-confessional, mewing horsepiss continues as acts open their hearts to the listener with imagined woes and vague interested in Olde World topics such as hangmen and infanticide, when really, they’d rather be listening to the awful Florence And The Machine or something.
However, some folkies get it just right, channelling the ghosts of music past and recreating that echoing eeriness of mountain music without trying to sound like a revivalist act. One such group are Arborea who have two impressive LPs to their name already, and here we are, faced with their third, ‘Red Planet’. Read More >>>
Bob Dylan is 70 years old today. That’s quite impressive for a man who has sounded, and looked 70 years old since 1962. Really. He owns a voice that sounds older than coal. He’ll be having his little birthday party today, with his little party hat on and cake shaped like a racing car, surrounded by whooping chums while he sits glumly in the middle of it all.
We wouldn’t want him to enjoy himself too much now, would we?
Of course, Grumpy Bob is just one of the many characters he’s made for himself over the years. He’s been Electric Bob, Folkie Bob, Born Again Christian Bob, Gypsy Bob and, unbelievably, for a brief moment, Rapper Bob. So who is he these days?
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Pretentiousness is something into which you have to throw yourself. Give into entirely. Not pretentiousness as in the arch cynical theatrics of someone who has simply studied how the eccentric behave, but true commitment to an ostentatious display of self-belief.
And at Sufjan Stevens’ gig, we were treated to a soundtrack to the apocalypse, songs about the inner body and outer space, and a lesson on how sound is more important than language. During one of many such talks, Stevens explains how noise is the more potent form of communication, used by the screaming baby fresh from the womb, but how language becomes dominant as you grow up.
As you read this, it probably reads like cod-philosophical gubbins but like a psychedelic experience it all made sense at the time. And unlike the meanderings of an acid-fried mind, it all makes sense afterwards as well. Why? Because we saw theory become application.
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Samuel Beam has been making records under the Iron & Wine moniker since 2002, specialising in lo-fi, hushed, folksy acoustic storytelling, but 2007’s The Shepherd’s Dog’s full band and upbeat tempos opened a new chapter.
It was difficult to categorise (if indeed you desire the ordered world of categorisation) and took sounds from different places musically and geographically. Its skill wasn’t in its courage for plucking ideas from far-flung corners but in the casualness with which it carried it out.
It doesn’t scream its influences in your face, Albarn-like. Instead it found the thread that runs through folk music regardless of its origin. You might spot calypso, west African, or dub if you listened out for it but you’d probably just hear infectious songs sung with a gentle lilt.
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Music has a special place in the hearts of the writers of hecklerspray. Without it, we wouldn’t be able to block out the shriek from protesting nut job fans outside our office. Some of us are even externally employed by naïve club promoters to spin vinyl discs and cause disco inferno via booty shaking antics.
There are other things we like including free alcohol, solid chocolate Twix’s, being ushered to the front of a queue due to our awesome status and our football team winning.
Sometimes we can only admire the qualities of other people such as their dashing looks or ability to draw. Pat Dam Smyth sees us showing an awful lot of bromance as we marvel at his tremendous wares. That’s pretty much makes our lives complete, music and awesome facial hair. Seem we’re easily pleased. Read More >>>
