Before we delve head-on in to 2009 and bring you such weird and wonderful sounds as Mexican two-step, we thought we’d chew over some of the artists we covered in 2008.

You know, so they don’t get all dusty in our archives.

This feature tries to bring a mix of completely brand new and unheard acts alongside those who need a bit of a push to get your attention. If we wanted to harp on about someone who’s released 50 CDRs and played one gig in Crewe, we’d write for some trendy sort of fanzine with a readership of twelve. Try to contain your excitement as we give our top ten list of last year.

10 – Rolo Tomoassi – We like them because they’re loud, full of energy and have a tiny frontwoman who has a voice that will knock you over. For someone so small, she shouldn’t be that loud. One to get the aggression out to.

9 – Cassetteboy – Not so much music, but cut and paste merchants who’ll take any piece of audio and tweak it until it’s unrecognisable. Just do a search for Cassetteboy V Harry Potter 2 on YouTube to see what we mean. Quality stuff.

8 – Khonnor – Aka Grandma, I, Cactus and Gaza Faggot has been producing moody ambient landscape music alongside the occasional spliced up electronic sound. The majority of his work can be downloaded for free at various places with one album fetching critical acclaim when it was released a few years ago.

7 – Unicorn Kid – Most chiptune sounds like someone has ripped an old Gameboy cartridge, delayed the sound and put a few effects on it. Unicorn Kid puts a bit more effort and construction into his work to get all the kids jumping like loons.

6 – Death By Panda – Already harped on about plenty around these parts. All the music produced on this project can be downloaded for free! Fragile electronics clash with post rock grooves for a closely-guarded musical secret.

5 – Lykke Li – Unlike our female singers who always seem to go on about drugs or when they were on drugs, Sweden’s Lykke Li came along and delivered a belting album full of poptastic hits. Just as good as Winehouse.

4 – The Lovely Eggs – They are lovely but aren’t eggs. Sorry to spoil the illusion. Upbeat and merry indie with catchy choruses make this duo a winner in our book. Limited releases so far, but hopefully more will follow.

3 – Florence And The Machines – We wrote all about Florence before she was tipped by the people at the BBC to be one of 2009 big hitters. Upbeat folk clashing with indie will make her a recognised act this year.

2 – Dananananaykroyd – Impossible to spell (and say if you’re a bit slow) but, hey, it’s all about the music! This Glasgow act have somehow got themselves a gig supporting a band worse than them this February! Aren’t the Kaiser Chiefs a silly bunch?

1 – Tim And Sam’s Tim And The Sam Band With Tim And Sam – More folk again here, but don’t worry, we ain’t gone totally hippy yet. Instrumental bliss can be found here alongside free teabags if you buy their records! iTunes doesn’t give you that!

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Quick! Name three things that are better than an exploding whale!

Can’t think of anything? That’s because – and we mean this literally – nothing is better than one of those big fat air-fish going boom. Imploding tigers would be better, but on this point science is still scratching their collective heads.

Consider yourselves lucky – because we have whale-video of it right here!

In 1970 Florence, Oregon, a dead sperm whale washed ashore, and everything that touched it got pregnant. Just kidding – except the thing really did wash up. As it sat there decomposing, the stench created a neighborhood-wide discomfort. Authorities had no idea what to do – until someone suggested they stuff it full of dynamite and blow it to smithereens.

Which they did.

It was supposed to turn the thing pretty much into a fine mist, except for the larger pieces which would still be quite small and manageable. Seagulls would eat the scraps and the whale problem would be done away with forever.

Of course it didn’t work like that. Whale chunks soared heavenward, and for a few long seconds no doubt the people probably thought their problem was solved. Then blubber chunks started to rain down for miles – some pieces of which were heavy enough to crush cars. Look what Wikipedia has on it:

“The resulting explosion was caught on film by television photographer Doug Brazil for a story reported by news reporter Paul Linnman of KATU-TV in Portland, Oregon. In his voiceover, Linnman joked that “land-lubber newsmen” became “land-blubber newsmen”, for “the blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds.”[4] The explosion caused large pieces of blubber to land some distance away from the beach, some of which caused heavy damage to a nearby car.”

Almost forty years later and the lucky participants have become Youtube famous. And deservedly so – watch it here.

Read More:

Exploding Whale – Wikipedia

Lindsay Lohan’s mum, Dina Lohan, has dismissed reports that her daughter will be getting her fanny out for upcoming independent film Florence.

The news has no doubt brought a tear to the eye of a million lonely lads who, if Dina is to be believed, will have to make do with what Lindsay has put out for their consumption already – as if that wasn’t enough.

But who cares about those wankers? Spare a thought for the producers of the film: you jerk-offs have only lost out on another chance to be titillated – the producers have lost the entire plot to their film!

According to Access Hollywood, their reporter Billy Brush received an e-mail from Dina Lohan simply saying:

“No, she is not.”

So, that may all but end the chuff-shot speculation, but try and take a positive spin on things here, guys. For example, she hasn’t yet confirmed or denied that Lindsay is actually going to star in this film, just as she hasn’t confirmed or denied that Lindsay’s breasts may make an appearance, meaning it is still possible that you’ll get to see her boobies on a giant cinema screen!

It’s about as common a sight these days as the back of your hand, but still, boobs is boobs, and Lindsay’s bare mammaries are a sight that even Mumma Lohan is a fan of. Though not so much her Dad, of course, the poor bastard. Let us have a minute’s silence for that broken man.

There. We hope he felt that. Michael, you’re forever in hecklerspray’s thoughts.

Read More – Mom Dismisses Lohan Film Nudity Reports – NBC