We are pleased, delighted, and completely over-excited to inform you all that the popular director Michael Bay will be getting some money from a film studio to make a film called Ouija. Yes, it's had a massive budget cut which means that the even more popular director McG probably won't be directing it anymore, but fear not guys where?s there's a will, there's a Bay (see what we did there?)

We can't show you a trailer because it's not got that far yet, sadly, but just imagine people sitting in a dark room on the floor moving their hands, while pretending not to, around a wooden board. AOK.

Now, down to business, films, trailers, film trailers, they're all over the place and one film gets like three trailers sometimes; talk about overkill. Those slick Hollywood suits know how you think though. They?re phone hacking your brain with technology far more sophisticated than we care to disclose at this time and they know you like the trailers.

Today we got a text and what it said was profound and in caps. The delight that greeted us was simply, ?TWO DAYS IN NEW YORK: JULIE DELPY, CHRIS ROCK.? We ignored it because why would we not?

We live in a world where it's okay to like Julie Delpy and her massive idiosyncratic glasses that anthropomorphise her face; yes, we do realise that that's not even possible. We live in this world, but we don't have to like it (we do) and we definitely don't have to watch it (we do).

Anyway, eurgh, movies are rubbish, especially the ones that haven't even come out yet, they're so rubbish that they make us feel emotions and always, always wish that our life was like them. It's nice to wish your life was like the movies. It's also delusional and if your favourite movie is Natural Born Killers then its borderline psychotic. Trailers are even more dangerous. Trailers compact this into two minutes of adrenaline fuelled longing; it's like having emotional epilepsy. Shall we watch some trailers?

It's that time of the week once more where you get texts from distant relatives and Facebook friends you decided it was acceptable to dole out your mobile number to.

They are texting you because they know that you will be slinking back to a cold flat alone after work and they want your Orange Wednesday so they can go to the cinema with their real friends. You might not be invited, but you're also not using it are you?

We know that you don't want to cry all night so we're going to let you watch some of the trailers for the films they might be watching this week then you can be part of the team (which you're not because as we all know there's no ?I? in team.)