Can you remember anyone who starred in Saved By The Bell? Nope neither can we, but we can barely recall the characters played in it.

There was um… Screech. Everyone knows Screech. You don’t? He was and still is the lovable geek who licked Mr Belding’s arse in order to avoid detentions when his zany antics got the better of him!

Screech aka Dustin Diamond didn’t really get up to much after Saved By The Bell. None of them did really. Some have done homemade porn, some have done erotic thrillers, and the others haven’t done anything to shake off their Saved By The Bell tag. Now Mario Lopez – who played AC Slater – is trying to make us believe he’s still not a total moron. We can now work up a sweat with Mario with his own fitness DVD.

In Saved By The Bell, AC Slater was the character who all the girls wanted to shag and all the blokes wanted to be like. Who wouldn’t want to be the jock of the school? He was the dog’s bollocks at every sport he played at and always led his team to glory in order to win naff-looking trophies. He’d leave us looking like morons in the egg and spoon race.

Mario Lopez has had a less than glittering career subsequently. He hasn’t quite been able to star in any shows that recaputured his early promise. Instead he’s just been doing one-off cameos in every TV show going. Not very good shows either. Most people will have watched his performances in TV films such as Holiday In Handcuffs and thought. “That’s the bloke from Saved By The Bell, what a tit.” But in his defence, he hasn’t done a Dustin Diamond. Which is good, because the world already has enough men who enjoy filming themselves smearing shit across women’s faces as it is.

The world has seen its fair share of fitness DVDs, and most are blatant cash-ins or a chance for a bloke to perv. Sonia from EastEnders just had a miracle fat burning one out and you could dance off the flab with everyone’s favourite reality TV trainwreck Jade Goody. Whilst those two were surely a last gasp attempt to make some cash, we really believe Mario Lopez is taking this seriously.

Probably far too seriously, which will evidently make him sound like a twat with quips like this. “Come on fool, work it with me AC Slater.” “Work harder maggot, Screech is whooping your ass” “How you gonna take Kelly to the prom with all the flab” “One day you’ll be able to flex your pecs like me and crack nuts in those badboys.”

Could this be the big break he needs to regain himself some fame? As betting people, we’ll say no and soon expect the announcement of a Saved By The Bell movie. A flash thirty years on from high school where we see Zack as a crack addict and Screech as a rent boy.

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Guess which one of these geeks has a fitness DVD out! – Heatworld