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Fleetwood Mac Spread Their Cokey Rumours All Over Glee

by Mof Gimmers

Fleetwood Mac are more soap opera than band. They’ve taken so much cocaine that even listening to one of their LPs will erode your septum, leaving you looking like Michael Jackson in a sauna. It is because of this that they still transfix us all. They’ve made some cool tunes, all had ill-advised sex with [...]

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Androids Get Angry As Extra Reveals Glee Prom King And Queen

by Mof Gimmers

There is something monumentally sinister about Glee. Those grinning, android toothed apple pies, all good-looking but slightly quirky, blankly staring down camera and hitting you with melodies so in-tune, that it feels like you’ve wandered into robot heaven. Only without the fun circuit board jamming that they’ll actually have in robot heaven. Of course, there’s [...]

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Richard Keys And Andy Gray Are Back On The Airwaves

by Kris Silver

The transfer season may well be over, but the biggest football transfer of the year has just taken place. That’s right, after having their contracts terminated by Sky Sports, public whipping boys Richard Keys and Andy Gray have signed for conference side talkSPORT, in a deal said to be worth roughly the price of a [...]

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Taylor Momsen Decides That Her Idiocy Isn’t Her Parents Fault

by Mof Gimmers

Taylor Momsen is a wild child. Not because she’s troubled or has a fixation with self-destruction. Rather, she’s simply decided that it would be a cool thing to do. She’s in a rock band and, as such, needs to play out the character of suicide blonde on a death-trip, when really, she’s probably just a [...]

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Apprentice Week 9: Spunking Cash Up The Wall

by Kris Silver

If there’s one thing this nation needs more of, its smug gits in business attire spunking away money that isn’t theirs whilst being rewarded with lavish amounts of champagne and opportunities to stab those who have irked them squarely between the shoulders. Yes, that’s right, it’s week 9 of The Apprentice! This week everyone’s favourite [...]

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Has Taylor Momsen Been Fired From Gossip Girl?

by Mof Gimmers

When Taylor Momsen is not flashing her baps at her own mother or singing in a rock band, she’s an actress in Gossip Girl. However, it looks like she might not be in the hit American show for much longer. She’s pretty busy without the show, fronting Pretty Reckless and being the face of Madonna’s [...]

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Michael Bolton Wants Bruno Tonioli Head On A Stick For Dancing With The Stars Comments

by Mof Gimmers

Michael Bolton once murdered some soul classics. Have you heard the abject horror of his version of ‘When A Man Loves A Woman’? Have you endured his butchering of Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay? Well, it seems that, apart from being America’s answer to Simply Red (which effectively means making the most godawful [...]

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Dog The Bounty Hunter Elusively Avoids Several Bullets

by Shawn Lindseth

As anyone generally considered villainous or reprehensible will tell you, anytime they are in a bank vault with a money-stuffed laundry bag slung over their shoulder, the last thing they want to see is ‘the Orange Glow.’ ‘The Orange Glow’ is a criminal industry term for a streaked blur that swoops in and vanquishes all [...]

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Grey’s Anatomy Blunders Into Another Big Gay Kerfuffle

by Stuart Heritage

Every TV show has its weakness – for 24 it’s believability, for Heroes it’s how rubbish it is and for Grey’s Anatomy it’s homosexuality.

Having just clawed its way out of the last gayness-related snafu it managed to stagger into, Grey’s Anatomy has inexplicably managed to slam into another one by ditching a lesbian love plot midway through, firing one of the actresses involved and fixing the other one up so that she isn’t gay any more.

What is it with Grey’s Anatomy? It’s almost as if it wants all gay people to stop watching it. And if that happened it’d probably be the end of Grey’s Anatomy, because its remaining audience demographics – the elderly, the bed-bound, the narcoleptic and the stupid – don’t really play as well with advertisers.

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Miley Cyrus Never Ever Leaving Hannah Montana Ever. Ever.

by Stuart Heritage

Hannah Montana made Miley Cyrus a star – well, to be more accurate it was Hannah Montana, constant implied teenage nudity and a creepy dad.

But for now let’s just assume that Hannah Montana made Miley Cyrus famous. It was a great set-up – Disney got hundreds of millions of dollars and Miley Cyrus got to be brought up surrounded by people all too scared to ever disagree with her, giving her dangerously false expectations for the rest of her life – but there may be trouble on the horizon.

Rumour has it that Miley Cyrus feels she’s got too big for Hannah Montana and is trying to get fired from the show. However, Disney has shot down these reports and has promised all the young fans that Miley Cyrus will remain on Hannah Montana forever. Nice try, Miley. Don’t you know that the only way to leave a creatively stifling kid’s TV show is to get pregnant? Did Jamie Lynn Spears teach you nothing?

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