For as long as mankind has had any level of self-awareness, we’ve all enjoyed watching one-legged middle aged women flip, twirl, and rhythmically pounce all about.
That’s why even if it had aired ten thousand years ago, that Dancing With The Stars season wherein Heather Mills was featured would have scored real high in the Nielsen ratings. Think of the advertising rates cavemen would have been willing to pay!
Donald Trump, at least momentarily, thought it would be a pretty good idea to have Mills sitting in his Celebrity Apprentice boardroom. We don’t blame him – she’d scuff the carpet 50% less than anyone else, vastly elongating the life of whatever carpet is involved. That’s why Trump’s a millionaire – he thinks about the little things like that.
Ends up though that Mills isn’t welcome on that show. According to rumour, she demanded a contractual stipulation that said if she appeared on the show, she’d be guaranteed a spot in the finale.
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Big Brother Celebrity Hijack - the only Big Brother series that proves SAS interrogation tactics don't even work on pasty-faced teenage girls – is still rattling away on E4.
And we're giving you and a guest the very special chance to be at the Big Brother Celebrity Hijacks finale.
Taking place on Monday January 28, the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack finale will be the best place to experience the emotion, the drama and the slightly rubbishy homemade banners that accompanies all Big Brother finales. And you could be there. Yes, you.
We have two sets of tickets to the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack finale to give away to you, so long as you're over 18, reside in the UK, able to find your own travel and accommodation and have a friend that you can take along with you.
To enter the competition, just answer this simple question:
Who won Big Brother 4?
Send your answers – along with a mobile number you can be contacted on if you win – to hello[AT]hecklerspray.com and we'll pick two winning entries by Jan 23. Good luck!