Pamela Anderson has made some mistakes in her life. She got that Barb Wire tattoo before she knew there wasn’t a franchise a’ brewin’, she quit Home Improvement before Tim Allen could secure her a role in either of those Toy Story movies. Perhaps most importantly, she didn’t sleep with a drunken David Hasselhoff even after he told her she’d never work in this town again.

That last bit is purely assumption on our part of course – but it’s a safe assumption. After all, eventually everyone sleeps with the Hoff. We did at our website launch party, and we’re not that ashamed. A Boys II Men best-of album filled the air as us and the Hoff waxed romantical in that dark, very dark janitor’s closet – but darkness such as that has never stopped sweet memories. Let us tell you – that man is built like a mop & bucket. 

But back to Pam’s mistakes – her most recent, apparently, is that she got married again. She’s reconciling all this by filing for divorce, and then maybe sending her most recent husband straight to hell! Perhaps.

Divorce is the whiteout on the great ledger in the sky. Did you get married but now you’re miserable? Get a divorce and it never happened. Is your brother married to your hot Brazilian Olympic swimming ex-girlfriend? Secretly file for divorce for them and split their marriage even if they don’t want to, and it never happened. We heard you can do that in Brazil. It’s because that country is unholy.

Last count we think Pamela Anderson married Tommy Lee twice and divorced him to match. We also seem to recall the lady marrying Kid Rock three or four times but only divorcing him once because Borat ruined their marriage. 

If our math is correct that means she’s still married to Rock at least two times. This in turn makes her a bigamist because barely 60 days ago she married Rick Salomon right in the middle of a magic show. Remember that? They exchanged sweet vows moments before Pam got sawed in half or something. The whole world stopped to throw flower petals and rice.

Well Bigamy or not, Anderson just filed for divorce from Salomon. According to Fox News:

“Pamela Anderson has filed for divorce from Rick Salomon, co-star of the Paris Hilton sex tape, after only two months of marriage.” 

The good news is Pam won’t be bogged down by legal proceedings for long as she’s pretty good at divorcing by now. She’s reportedly ready to sign dozens of dotted lines, hire thousands of lawyers, and she’s ready to offer the standard ceremonial dead fully-feathered chicken covered in carrot glaze up to the gods of speedy divorce. 

That’s another thing they do in Brazil. Unholy we tell you. 

Read More: 

Pamela Anderson files for divorce after 2 months of marriage – USA Today