Last week we reported that Alicia told Blender magazine the murders of 2Pac and Biggie were a government conspiracy, and that all Gangsta’ rappers are basically being taken for a ride – the idiots.

Since then, Alicia Keys has issued a statement saying that her comments were “misrepresented“, but Blender spokeswoman Kate Cafaro told the Associated Press on Tuesday that “We stand by our story”.

Upon reading this it appears 50 Cent’s brain started hurting. He told The Showbuzz:

“I don’t like Alicia Keys no more…the same reason why I said that I don’t like Oprah Winfrey. I’m prejudice(d). I don’t like people who don’t like me.”

That’s quite awkward, because hecklerspray don’t like people who don’t like hecklerspray neither, and as neither we nor 50 Cent has made an official statement as to whether we like the other, we’re stuck in one hell of an apathetic quandary right here

And if there’s one thing we hates more than folk who don’t like hecklerspray, it’s non-committal, fence-sitting folk who couldn’t care either way. So, bearing that in mind, we’d like to issue the following statement:

“Hecklerspray thinks that 50 Cent represents pretty much everything that is wrong with modern society. He is an anti-intellectual, dollar-driven dullard who unfortunately – when attempting to ‘Get Rich or Die Tryin’ – got rich.”

There we go – the coast is clear. We don’t like him, ergo he don’t like us. We can now move on with the story, safe in the knowledge that this’ll be about as unbiased an article as your average BNP immigration brochure.

The Neanderthal continued:

“If you don’t like the content that I write because of my experiences; I am being who I am when I am writing it. I fall into that ‘label’ as far as you considering artists creating ‘Gangsta music,’ we fall into that. If she don’t like that, (then) I don’t like that classical music shit she be doing. At some point she’s playing some shit that don’t relate to me. We listen to it and try to figure out why people actually enjoy it. I am trying to enjoy it. That statement changes my perception of Alicia Keys totally. But the magazine is standing behind it, which means they probably have a tape of her in conversation saying it. It’s just not really a bright comment anyway.”

That’s right, Fiddy, it isn’t a very bright statement at all, but ‘I am being who I am when I am writing it’ isn’t particularly Einsteinian itself, is it? There’s more:

“I think hip-hop is so competitive. I don’t think that a lot of people who judge hip-hop actually enjoy it as an art form. They aren’t into it enough to understand what they are listening to and they just hear disrespectful lyrics going back and forth and just say ‘oh they’re fighting’ … so it’s got to be negative if it’s fighting. To just make reference to what hip-hop was from the very beginning was just two artists battling. Battling turned into beefing after Biggie and Tupac passed because unfortunately that turned into real incidents in the street.”

Ah yes, we all remember that fateful day when battling turned into beefing, don’t we ladies and gentleman? It was the day that one word was changed in order to lessen the likelihood of Gangsta rappers being gunned down in the street.

But today hecklerspray is reversing all that. We don’t beef, we battle – so watch your back Curtis, cos’ we love the idea of shutting you up once and for all far. Far more than your average fat kid loves cake.

Maybe Alicia was onto something?

Read More – 50 Cent Defends “Gangsta Rap” – Showbuzz