Awesome or Off-Puttingis a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.
Hecklerspray once went an entire week without eating or drinking a single thing. Well – maybe we should clarify that. We didn’t eat anything with our mouths for an entire week. We did microwave plenty of fruit roll-ups into a hot goo and then shot them into our veins with tiny sharp bamboo.
Prahlad Jani has a similar claim to fame except he used liquefied gummi bears in his bamboo needles.
But perhaps our source is wrong there. We say that because everything else we’ve seen says he literally hasn’t eaten or drank a single thing in 70 years, this because a likely multi-armed Goddess came down from heaven and blessed him as a boy.
Take that anti-drink-driving campaign from about ten years back. Remember the one? Some bloke called Dave was in the pub with his mates, who were urging him to sink another pint with the refrain “just one more, Dave.” In the next scene, Dave has a horrific car crash and is reduced to a bedridden vegetable being fed slop by his mother – who, in a Swiftian twist of irony, tries to feed him a spoonful with the refrain “just one more, Dave.”
All very clever and affecting, yeah. Unless you’re a kid, of course, at which point you run out into the school playground and make David Hargreaves cry by thrusting spoonfuls of Muller Crunch Corner at him while shouting – you guessed it – “just one more, Dave.” We’re sorry, David. So very sorry.
Why has hecklerspray gone on this rant? Because we couldn’t help but draw parallels with the new Think F.A.S.T campaign: a well-meaning PSA about dealing with stroke victims whose effectiveness will no doubt be diluted by children the nation over pissing themselves with laughter at the lady’s silly face and trying their best to emulate it with their pals.
As for the rest of us? Well, we’re probably just wondering exactly how F.A.S.T that ambulance will actually be arriving. What’s the betting on 45 minutes?
Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.
