Fashion - HecklerSpray

Balmain Continues to Suck Up to the Kardashians

July 18th, 2015 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

In case you’re not familiar with Balmain, it’s a high fashion line worn by fancy rich bitches all over the world. The head of the Balmain fashion house is Olivier Rousteing, a man whose head is so far up the collective assholes of the Kardashian/Jenner clan that he basically breathes cheek fillers.

Aside from being inseparable besties with the whole crew, it also seems to be Olivier’s goal to feature all of them in Balmain ads. Last year he released a campaign starring Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, and yesterday he unveiled the above ad starring Kylie and Kendall Jenner.

An American Horror Story: Fashion at the Grammys 2014

January 28th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

I will argue with anyone who will listen about how American Horror Story: Coven is hands down the best season of American Horror Story in every way possible. Those bad bitches make my week! Well, if you tuned in to the Grammys on Sunday night, you’d see that apparently I’m not the only big fan of American Horror Story: Coven.

This year’s Grammys were like my fashion dreams come true. So much spooky witch fashion, it was Coven meets The Craft and I died and went to all black heaven. Madonna was like The Supreme of the Grammys and she brought her entire witches in training army with her. If you don’t know what I mean by Supreme, you maybe shouldn’t be reading a blog with a lot of AHS references.

Miley Cyrus Actually Wears Pants and Other Boring AMAs Fashion

November 25th, 2013 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

On Sunday night, the American Music Awards happened, which means Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, and Katy Perry were all in one place at the same time, which means they should have been pulling out all the stops to out do each other. There should have been pasties, thongs, dresses made out of tampons, and nipple tassels that said “NWA” on them! But did any of that happen? Oh no. Instead, everyone looked really fucking nice.?

I expect a lot from my music awards shows. Usually, there is some type of over the top fuckery that everyone is talking about for days afterwards, and for the past couple of years what someone wore has been the main piece of controversy. I mean, Miley wore that god awful Tupac and Biggie dress to the EMAs, Lady Gaga wore that dress made of meat, Katy Perry wore that awful gold grill, and Rihanna brought Chris Brown to the Grammys this year (ok, not something she wore, but still in poor taste given he beat the crap out of her before the Grammys just a few years prior. People don’t forget). But the AMAs this year? Nothing.

5 Hideous Celebrity Fashion Trends That Must Be Stopped

September 3rd, 2013 By Rhiannon Davies

In the immortal words of Regina George: “Stop trying to make fetch happen. It’s not going to happen.” But you can go ahead and substitute ‘fetch’ for ‘fur-lined Birkenstocks’ because they aren’t going to happen either.?

A wise man once said that money can’t buy taste. It’s a blessing in disguise that us regular Joe’s don’t have to worry about buying ugly and expensive things, so it’s our civic duty to remind the rich folk that just because something is expensive, doesn’t mean it looks good. Let’s proceed, shall we?

Justin Timberlake’s Suit and Tie Aren’t So Fashionable

February 11th, 2013 By Chris Starr

People of the world, rejoice! Justin Timberlake is literally bringing sexy back by simply existing in our lives and making sweet, sweet music. After a long hiatus, Timberlake’s decided to release a new album, called Suit and Tie, and he’s going all in on the branding and PR blitz that follows.

It seems like every moment he possibly gets he mentions it. Even the wearing of a suit and tie – one of his usual wardrobe staples – becomes an opportunity to scream loudly “HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT I HAVE AN ALBUM OUT TITLED THE SAME THING I’M WEARING? HOW WEIRD RIGHT?!”

Joan Collins Wants To Burn Your Jeans

March 13th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Joan Collins, a woman who has traded on looking like a glamorous ghost for the past 20 years, not to mention being the campest of all bitchy gay men, is opening her mouth again and spouting advice.

What important, world-harming event is she looking at now?

Jeans. That’s right, denim. Massively important stuff. Not just any ol’ jeans. She’s looking at jeans that sport the legs of women in their forties!

Pippa Middleton Still Has An Arse But One That Skis!

March 5th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

It really is heartwarming that our beloved Royal family have decided to take some absolutely typical Normal Just Like You And Me Pleb Citizens under their swannish wing, eh? Thank Christ for the Middletons.

The very normal Middletons are just like us, they really are. Apart from being already wealthy, having a penchant for wax jackets, having toilets made of diamonds and the whole Pot Noodle Doesn’t Make Up 90% Of Their Diet?thing.

And of course, Pippa Middleton is unique and special because she has a famous posterior which, astonishingly, went skiing in Sweden without melting the snow with sexy vibes. How does she do it?!

The Queen, Kate Middleton and Camilla Go On Wild Girls’ Night At Fortnum & Mason’s

March 2nd, 2012 By Becca Day-Preston

Bored of sitting on their arses in separate palaces, eating swan pate and beating servants, the Queen, Kate Middleton and Camilla Parker Bowles decided to go on a raucous girls? night out at Fortnum & Mason’s, where they ate indestructible biscuits, and Kate practiced her bending down to smile at children skills.

Once inside, away from the cameras, we can only assume that various nubile members of Fortnums staff were forced to strip naked and throw foie gras at each other while the royal wenches laughed and laughed.

All wearing blue jackets to cover their crudely printed ?Windsor Gals ON THA LASH!? t-shirts, they embarked on a short meet and greet where Kate Middleton smiled at literally four or five carefully selected cute children, and Camilla managed to go ten minutes without actually snarling at anyone, which is nice.

The Oscars: Everything You Need To Know About It Because You Went To Bed (Includes Blackface And Potential Nipple)

February 27th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Last night saw the Oscars or Academy Awards being held and a bunch of people did some stuff, while others collected trophies and other didn’t do much at all, but still somehow got in the newspapers.

It was amazing, obviously.

Like sensible people, most of you were in bed last night. And so you don’t miss out on anything, we’ve decided to create a big cheat-sheet for you so you can talk about the Oscars in the office like you stayed up all night. And no, no-one actually expected Billy Crystal to black-up for his opening segment.

David Beckham Says His Children Are Proud Of His 20ft Testicles

February 22nd, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

When you look at your parents, are you proud? If you are, you shouldn’t be. They gave birth to you for a start and that’s as big a failure as it gets. However, David Beckham’s children are very proud indeed.

They should be. They live in a number of gigantic houses and will never have to work a day in their pampered little lives.

And what are they thankful for? David’s footballing exploits? Victoria’s singing career? (Hahahah! HAHAHA!) No. They are most proud of their father’s groin area, complete with 20ft ballbag! Hurray for staring at your father’s genitals!