Fantasy - HecklerSpray

JK Rowling To Write A New Book; Polishes Off Diamond Typewriter

February 24th, 2012 By Robin Darke

One of the most famous authors of all time, JK Rowling, is set to dust off her fingers one more time to write a new book. Not just any book but a book for adults. It's suddenly become acceptable to read JK Rowling on the tube. Huzzah.

The writer, estimated to be worth the same as three African countries and a large portion of Australia, decided to shake what her mother gave her and pop out another book before blasting out another bambino.

Although nothing massive has been confirmed by Rowling?s literary agent, The Blair Partnership, Rowling herself decided to spill the beans to the entire World by releasing a statement.

Daniel Radcliffe Hates Rupert Grint; Just Another Life Ruined By Ed Sheeran

January 23rd, 2012 By Robin Darke

We all love the Harry Potter don't we? The books are the perfect way to get kids reading and introduces more morbid elements of death and orphans in a child-friendly manner. The films are great hangover fodder, and are one of the biggest British export since Katie Price?s vagina.

All the children on them look so happy to be acting with them don't they? Look at those cherub faces. Not knowing what real life will hold for them after the films finish. We heard that the girl who played Pansy Parkinson is teetering on a total K-hole after taking a great big E through her eyes. They?ll be friends for life once they all have a whip round and throw an intervention for her.

we're romantics at heart aren't we?

We Live In A World Where You Can Wipe Poo On Daniel Radcliffe’s Face

December 30th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Ever looked at Daniel Radcliffe’s face and thought to yourself: ‘That looks exactly like the kind of thing I’ve been after, especially regarding the absorbing of my faecal matter’. Well have you? If not, then you’re stupid.

Why?

Well, that’s because you can now completely and legally wipe your mucky hoon on Daniel Radcliffe’s face. Obviously, the Harry Potter star isn’t particularly thrilled about it, but that matters not because his world is about to become rather 2 Girls 1 Cup and there’s nothing he can do about it.

William Shatner Really, Really Hates Star Wars

September 23rd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

William Shatner – or, The Shat, as we like to call him -? is a fine, fine man. We say ‘fine’. We actually mean ‘like watching an endless loop of terrible car wrecks, limbs flying through the air’.

Right? Right.

The Shat is prone to opening his mouth and not thinking too much about what tumbles out. That’s why he’s so fun. And when he does think about it for a second, it usually translates into the most hilariously earnest acting you’ve ever seen. That doesn’t stop him from judging other people’s work. Hell no. Why would it? Now, he’s sticking the boot into Star Wars. It’s Star Wars versus Star Trek!

Star Wars Hottest Women!

September 16th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

George Lucas has got everyone thinking about Star Wars again, what with him re-releasing it for the millionth time and, better yet, still tinkering around with it in a bid to utterly infuriate absolutely everyone who loves the films.

Well done George.

So while Lucas meddles, we fiddle. This means we started thinking about the hottest gals from the Star Wars films. When we kicked our measly brains into gear, it transpired that there aren’t too many girls in the Star Wars universe. So who with excite our spaceballs?

George Lucas: Making The Old Star Wars Films Better

September 2nd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Star Wars, great as it is, is by no means perfect. There’s loads of mistakes in it which are really, quite unacceptable. How can you have a masterpiece with a Stormtrooper smacking his head against a beam?

And so, George Lucas is our saviour, here to iron out all these imperfections and make the film as good as it could be.

His latest move is to take a scene that’s bugged us for ages – the death of Emperor Palpatine – and make it vastly superior by getting Darth Vader to actually emote, rather than stand there like some useless work experience lump in a mobile phone shop.

David Boreanaz Is No ‘Angel’ ? Do You See What We Did?

March 31st, 2011 By Paul Pencott

Expressionless slab-faced lump of FAIL David Boreanaz ? better known for playing ?Angel?, the perplexing object of affection for Buffy the Vampire Slayer and little else unless you count that cop show that only your mother really likes (although you still have to find it for her on her EPG) ? will no doubt be today celebrating his complete exoneration from charges of sexual harassment filed all the way back in July of last year.

If, by ?complete exoneration? you mean ?he paid-off the complainant so she'd keep quiet?.

Or ?settled out of court? as they call it in that America.

Top 10 Cult Classic Mid-80s Fantasy Adventure Flicks

September 20th, 2012 By hecklerspray staff

As any nostalgic 25 – 30 year old will tell you the mid-80s were a truly magical cinematic time for any kid to grow up in. In the wake of George Lucas? original Star Wars trilogy, we were bombarded with a cluster of imaginative, mystical live-action fantasy adventure films, which eagerly promoted a genuine sense of mischievous fun and adventure.

Tales of typically normal excitable youngsters going on epic adventures that lifted the heart stirred the soul and haunted our dreams. But it was the palpable sense of adventure that really convinced, giving us youngsters an achievable sense of daydream adventure – long before the internet or Xbox-claimed adolescent imagination.

Why the mid-80s? Give us another span of time where there was an equally audacious flux of films that dared to lift the lid on Pandora?s Box to capture our imagination and fiendishly tape into our most primal kiddie fears? So forget the CGI-bloated likes of Harry Potter, Golden Compass and the new Narnia adventures and let us divulge to you hecklerspray?s definitive Top 10 Cult Classic Fantasy Adventure Flicks from the Mid-80s…