Articles tagged with: Family
You know how Brad Pitt is constantly getting stalked by the paparazzi wherever he goes, much to his clear annoyance? Well, you'll never guess what he thinks of them. In an interview with The Today Show, Brad Pitt has announced that he hates the paparazzi, but he loves his family. Steady on there, Brad - much more of this controversial 'good things are good and bad things are bad' talk and there's a decent chance that you'll end up literally melting our mind. What? You like your family? That's literally crazy. Video after the jump.
Sometimes, in nature, females of any species have to fight to achieve their instinctive goals. Sometimes those goals include protecting newborns from the slobbery jaws of a vicious predator, and sometimes they include trying to change the channel away from Oprah in a posh mid-Manhattan nail salon. Thousands of women are killed every year from the latter offense. These battles are often epic, lasting for days on end – victory only being claimed when one contender drops to the ground dead, possibly with large chunks of hair missing, and Lee Press-Ons lodged in different parts of their face & shoulders. So it was, recently, in some island airport when two sub-D-list female celebrities crossed paths. In one corner it was Nikki Blonsky, the lead from the movie Hairspray. In the other corner it was Bianca Golden, an America's Next Top Model cast-off. They actually fought – physically. Hate raged as their blood and spit intertwined mid-air, possibly pushed to and fro by a mediocre ventilation system. Also hate raged as the Top Model girl had her foot bitten by a human being. Hate also raged as somebody's father beat somebody else's mother to the point of hospitalization. That's all that hate raged though. We wouldn't want to exagerate - and we haven't. Yet.
Anyone who watched Hogan Knows Best a) has way too much time on their hands and b) could see that the Hogans seemed happy enough. They weren't - as soon as the show finished Hulk Hogan and Linda Hogan got divorced and took up with insanely young new partners, Nick Hogan wrapped his car around a tree and went to jail and Brooke Hogan... well that chin of hers isn't looking any less weird, is it? So what's going on? Maybe we'll never know - after all, the Hogans have sold themselves out to the media before and it's ended in tears, so the sensible thing to do would be to close ranks and figure out their problems in private. Or, if you're Brooke Hogan, you'll just go on Access Hollywood and yammer on about it for ages instead. Which is much more fun. Thanks Brooke!
Janet Jackson's job basically involves muttering about how sexy she is to nobody in particular in a vaguely constipated way, which must get boring.
So thank heavens that Janet Jackson has finally got broody - she wants a baby so badly that it's all she can do not to dress up as a nurse and snatch one from a maternity ward somewhere.
That's according to Janet's boyfriend Jermaine Dupri, anyway. He says that Janet is so desperate for babies that they're going to try for one the instant she finishes her upcoming tour. But why wait? if Janet Jackson wants a baby that badly she should throw caution to the wind and just cancel her shows. The fans won't mind - if they're Janet Jackson fans they'll have grown used to the crushing feeling of disappointment anyway.
So Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil have split up and everyone's generally quite relieved about it, right? Think again - even though he's probably going to be in prison for the foreseeable future and she doesn't seem to be able to go more than a day without being in the papers for getting off with a variety of blokes who all look like infected bum scabs, Amy Winehouse and Blake Civil-Fielder are apparently planning to renew their marriage vows. That's the story, at least - in truth we'd imagine that Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil will opt for a slight retooling of their marriage vows. Since it's fairly difficult to pledge 'to have and to hold' when one of them's locked away in prison, perhaps Amy Winehouse can instead vow to keep her mangy genitals away from anyone out of Babyshambles for a nonspecific period of time. It's the same wedding vows we'd want.
Above all else, Heath Ledger's death was a lesson for us all that we should all get our affairs in order before we accidentally overdose on a deadly cocktail of prescription medicine while naked.
Because Heath Ledger didn't do that at all, which means his daughter Matilda has been left out of his will completely.
But rather than tear the Ledger family apart, as is usually the case when a celebrity dies with an out-of-date will, Heath Ledger's father has said that Matilda is the family's highest interest and that she will be 'looked after'. At least we think that's what he said. He was a little out of breath from shovelling all those shoe boxes of cash underneath the floorboards at the time.
Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.
This week: The Unexplainable
The problem with eighties architecture was that all the doors to buildings were far too formal. They were all very symmetrical, breeze-proof, and most had the overrated ability to open and close. That's way inside the box, man.
Imagine then, our surprise when the renovations we made to our family's west living-room wall with what was certainly an abandoned idling garbage truck went under-appreciated. We were in our room for millenia we tell you, and although we don't believe our father used guard dogs as an internment tool, there was a good chance the family poodle would have gone for the throat had we so much as cracked the door.
Still, that's nothing compared to Anatoly Titsky. He kept his wife and kids locked up in an isolated and haphazard prison camp modelled after Auschwitz for two years.
As if you needed reminding, Britney Spears had a full-on kerb-sitting dog-clutching sobbing meltdown on Monday night after a fight with her manager Sam Lutfi.
Nothing particularly unusual about that - Britney Spears seems to be contractually obliged to have a weird public meltdown every couple of weeks these days - but is Sam Lutfi really the steady hand that he's claimed to be?
Apparently not - it turns out that Sam Lutfi might be a weirdo with a bunch of restraining orders against him and a history of urging people to kill themselves. Which is, you know, inevitable.
