Why ‘The Beef’ would want to be hit in the face is open to speculation – maybe he saw that Tarzan scene in the new Indy flick one too many times and felt he needed to take some small steps towards making amends. Namely, through violence. Though, let’s be honest, it would need more than a simple slap to make up for that abortion of a movie moment.

Speculate all we may, the reasons why young Beefy wanted to be left red-faced will probably elude us for a fair time to come. What we don’t need to speculate about is the fact that Shia used a naughty homosexual slur to goad his chum into slapping him, as seen on a YouTube video – which was subsequently pulled from prying public eyes.

That’s right – put the kids to bed, cover granny’s eyes and ears and hope to Zeus that Mary Whitehouse isn’t around – Shia called his friend a ‘faggot’.

Has the world ended yet? No? Phew.

Young movie superstar in using slang term with friends shocker! Now, we at hecklerspray are completely against all forms of -ism and -phobia: racism, homophobia, sexism, dogma, bad sandwiches and many more. But dear crikey if this doesn’t seem like yet another case of something being blown completely out of proportion simply because of a guy’s status.

Beef Stew was filmed with his friends and it got out. The situation wasn’t one intended for the public to witness and it certainly isn’t a situation where the youthful Red Meat should feel the need to heavily censor his language. It’s just as soon as the media parasites get a hold of it, things go mental and LaBeouf is forced into making an awkward apology, through a spokesperson (natch), thusly:

“He regrets having used the word in any capacity and is very embarrassed that this footage is being seen by anyone.”

Roughly translated: ’sorry for anything bad ever to anyone, even things I wasn’t involved in or had no prior knowledge of’. A decent, cover-all-bases apology from Shia. He knows he shouldn’t have said the bad word that will clearly bring about the end of all that is good in the world, but the mere fact that he’s been forced to make a hasty apology and that the powers that be saw the situation as one where a video should be removed shows that this is a classic media over-reaction.

Wait – what do you mean Shia is actually a master criminal? A man-child who constantly breaks the law? Won’t someone please think of the children?!

Whatever next? Bifstek calling Miley Cyrus a bad name? He wouldn’t dare.

Inevitably, various groups are up in arms at this display of censorship, calling it political correctness gone mad and everything else you'd probably expect it to. However, the real outrage isn't that Radio 1 has censored the word 'faggot' from Fairytale Of New York, or that it's even playing a song that originally contained the word 'faggot' – no, the real outrage is that Radio 1 is playing a song that's about three times older than its average listener in the first place.

BBC Radio 1’s decision to silence the word 'faggot' from Fairytale Of New York was criticised by Kirsty MacColl's mother on Radio 5 Live this morning, on the grounds that the song is about two characters speaking in a dialect true to themselves. She said:

"These are a couple of characters. Today we have a lot of a gratuitous vulgarity and whatever from people all over which I think is quite unnecessary. These are characters and they speak like that."

Radio 1 released a statement defending the decision:

“Radio 1 are playing an edited version of the Fairytale of New York that does not include the world 'faggot' as this is a word that members of our audience would find offensive."

The song was first released in 1987, and is now as synonymous with Christmas time as mince pies, intense family feuds and merry old St. Nick himself. A spokesperson for McGowan’s band The Pogues commented:

"It strikes me as very odd and I'm sure the band will be very amused."

Whatever the reason for the ban, though, censoring the song's 'faggot' line seems to us like a pretty futile attempt on Radio 1’s part because everyone knows what the missing word is anyway. The silence at the end of "You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy…” makes the word stand out stronger in its absence, like when the wedding reception DJ turns down the volume after "It’s fun to stay at the…” everyone knows to scream out "YMCA!”

And even if they don't know the censored word, the only two words that rhyme with 'maggot' are 'faggot' and 'cagot' and we don't think Kirsty MacColl would ever dream of calling Shane McGowan a member of the race inhabiting the valleys of the Pyrenees who until 1793 were political and social outcasts for supposedly being remnants of the Visigoths.

What's our view on the matter? We don't have one. We're waiting for the remixed duet between Isaiah Washington and Jerry Lewis to come out. 

Read more:

BBC bans lyrics in song – Mirror