Articles tagged with: Facebook
When Dan Brown writes a new book, he doesn't need to advertise it - the book can advertise itself. You've seen the millions of commuters all holding Dan Brown's books up to their nose every morning. And you've seen packs of sweaty, clueless-looking Americans stumbling around Paris and Rome squawking "Ooh, The Da Vinci Code! Ooh, Angels & Demons!" in the belief that The Louvre was only built so that Tom Hanks could run around it in a funny wig. But still, Dan Brown's new book The Lost Symbol comes out soon, and this time he is advertising it. On FACEBOOK!
Like many people, we spend half our bloody lives on Facebook being all like "Oho, look, Ian's updated his status to 'Ian doesn't understand'! Gosh!" But that doesn't mean that we want to see a Facebook movie ever. Ever ever ever ever ever. Which is a pain in the bum because Aaron Sorkin, the brain behind The West Wing and Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip, is only going to jolly well write one, isn't he? Not to be outdone, MySpace has also decided to make a movie - except that'll be made by Uwe Boll off his chops on cattle tranquiliser, trapped in a kaleidoscope factory and given a budget of 50p and a cast of nearly-naked women whose dialogue only consists of the line "HEY! Want to get LAID Tonite?" repeated every three seconds until blood starts to trickle out of your face.
Does Paris Hilton even have a MySpace account? Surely she's one of those types that gets their profile banned for being far, far too whorish for the young audience of the site? It would appear Paris has special dispensation, however, as she is reportedly 'dating' - or whatever the kids call it these days - the CEO of MySpace Chris DeWolfe, who has surely given her special privileges for her profile. More photos, space to upload more of her wonderful music (seeing as her pop career is something of a nonstop rollercoaster right now) or something like that, surely. It is shocking that Paris didn't let MTV find her a new boyfriend, mind. What makes the story all the more shocking is that neither Paris nor Chris have updated their profiles to show they are single, with each still involved in a relationship and a marriage (though separated), respectively. Guys - go to your profile, click on edit then change the information accordingly - come on, you shouldn't be leading people astray like this. At least if it were Facebook you could change it to 'It's Complicated', which would suit perfectly.
For ages, hecklerspray believed that the most intimate act a married couple could engage in was the exchange of saliva when ramming their tongues down each others throats. However, we were proven wrong when we were told that a couple can prove their love for each other by 'creating a baby'. This literally knocked us back, throwing into disarray our previous notion that a child is created using flour, the tears of an orphan, vanilla extract, nail clippings and the sweat from a man/woman depending on what sex you wanted the child to be. In days gone by, people would takes months to even kiss each other - never mind engage in any sexual goings on. Having a baby would only happen a good few years after marriage, under the eyes of God and surrounded by an approving society. However, we now live in a culture where a girl will flash her tits for half a pint of lager or for a couple of cold chips. So just imagine our disgust when we found out our number one celebrity fan and all round grasper of swear words Lee Ryan has left his pregnant fiancée of eight months.
Believe it or not, there's more to Facebook than becoming friends with people you never really liked and playing games of Scrabble that last for three months.
Because now Facebook is getting in on the free music revolution, by letting REM stream their new album Accelerate through Facebook application iLike a full week before it gets physically released.
The implications for this are huge - if the REM experiment works it might become normal for bands to use Facebook as pre-release tools, changing the face of music forever. Although, let's not forget that we're talking about an REM album that wasn't released in the early-to-mid nineties, so perhaps the only real implication involves millions of Facebook uses updating their status to 'underwhelmed.'
We ran a race once when we were ten and got second place. Second place isn’t bad for a chubby little kid with a bad perm. We got a medal and everything. Do you think they gave a medal to the person that came in 785th place in that race? Do you? Well, they most certainly didn’t. Not only because there were only about 30 kids in the race, but also because 785th place isn’t really a place at all. It’s hundreds of spots away from the winner. It’s where the losers hang out.
Know who’s a 785th place loser, too? Facebook originator Mark Zuckerberg, that’s who. What a slacker. He’s probably all boo-hoo about being 785th place. What’s that? The thing for which he placed 785th was the list of richest people in the world?
Well, then that’s not too shabby out of billions of people, now is it.
