The best thing about Simon Cowell is that he makes a success of everything he does. Music. Television.

Legitimately dreadful haircuts. And now football. Yesterday, the bizarre Simon Cowell-masterminded World Cup mash-up of Shout and No Diggity featuring James Corden and Dizzee Rascal reached number one in the charts. It has single-handedly brought the nation together thanks to its uplifting message, its arbitrary scattering of the world ‘England’ and the fact that it’s still only about a tenth as awful as that Terry Venables song.

But is Simon Cowell happy with the song’s success? No – he’s not going to stop until Fabio Capello has played Shout for the players in the England dressing room before every match. Presumably with a threat to play it at them again at full-time unless they can convincingly win.