As we speak, Jessica Simpson is in Kuwait, ready to boost troop morale by jiggling her boobies around and kidding herself that people are interested in her singing voice.

It's a lovely, kindhearted thing for Jessica Simpson to do. Or at least it would be, if Jessica hadn't ratcheted up a gigantic bill to hand the organisers in the process.

Although her Kuwait visit is essentially a goodwill trip, Jessica Simpson's private jet, accommodation and beauty entourage will leave concert organisers MySpace hundreds of thousands of dollars out of pocket. That's fair enough, though – those troops want to see a bright-orange man-jawed bimbo of questionable musical credibility, not a bright-orange man-jawed bimbo of questionable musical credibility with a rubbish make-up job.

Jessica Simpson's visit to Kuwait as part of Operation MySpace today has raised her profile immeasurably. A few weeks ago Jessica Simpson was the star of a hopeless turkey of a movie, presenter of a binned fitness DVD and girlfriend to an identikit sports star. A far cry from the days of Jessica Simpson being America's sweetheart just because she got to show off her tits and her devastating lack of intelligence on that reality TV show of hers, you'll agree.

But then Jessica Simpson announced her Kuwait concert and she was everyone's number one doll again. As well as reminding the world that she's a singer, Jessica Simpson also showed that she wasn't the vacuous, shallow-hearted, out-of-touch moron that some would have you believe. No – she was going to gee up the sagging morale of the troops stationed in Kuwait, and all for free. What a wonderful, if slightly oddly-coloured, girl Jessica Simpson is.

Except it's not completely free. Not once you've factored in expenses like the private jet and the expensive entourage that Jessica Simpson sure as sugar isn't paying for. MSNBC reports:

According to a source close to the Simpson camp, a private plane carrying Simpson and her entourage — which includes dad Joe, hairstylist Ken Paves, her personal assistant and a stylist — left L.A. and was due in Kuwait the evening of March 9. Total cost for the plane was approximately $150,000. Someone will be picking up the tab for accommodations as well, even though it’s been touted that Simpson will be forgoing her standard hotel suite to spend the night living like the troops in a bunk… Other expenses include her stylist and makeup artist (who both charge approximately $6,000 per day), and [hairdresser Ken] Paves, whose day rate is a whopping $10,000, according to the Simpson source.

$22,000 a day just to make Jessica Simspon look presentable? That's… well, actually that probably just about covers the cost of the Polyfilla and weaponised bronzer that she looks as if she rolls around in first thing each morning. Fair enough.

MySpace spokespeople have maintained that, although Jessica Simpson has racked up a hefty expenses bill, she hasn't been paid for the performance itself and is basically doing a good thing. Which, on reflection is probably true. How can sending Jessica Simpson to a country studded with anti-personnel landmines and chock full of lethal automatic weapons be anything but good? Jessica, we forgive you.

Read more:

Simpson’s Kuwait concert ‘isn’t a charity show’ – MSNBC 

One of the downsides to Britney Spears' custody battle is the obvious mental and emotional turmoil it puts her through, but one of the upsides is that we get to see exactly what Britney Spears spends her money on, so really it all evens out.

Thanks to court papers released yesterday, the world at large can now see exactly where Britney Spears' money goes. While it's no surprise that Britney Spears earns more in a month than Kevin Federline does in a year, it might come as a bit more of a shock to see that Britney Spears carefully budgets for everything. For example, Britney Spears has mortgages and charitable obligations, which is why she only spends $102,000 a month on 'entertainment, gifts and vacations.' If only everyone had the financial prudence of Britney Spears, surely the world would be a far better place.

We all know that Britney Spears is loaded – even when she'd seemingly given up on music to dedicate her life to stumbling out of nightclubs with her vagina flapping about in case another accidental baby suddenly decided to fall out, Britney Spears was still pulling in $737,868 a month through sales of her music and perfumes – but nobody knew what she did with it all. 

But now we know, and it's all thanks to Britney Spears being legally deemed as too unfit to care for her own children! As part of Britney Spears' ongoing custody battle with Kevin Federline, details of both their earnings and expenditure had to be submitted to the court. And now that the court is done with those details, it's time for the rest of the world to have a gander.

So what does Britney Spears spend her cash on? Well, there's the $500 she gives to charity, the $49,267 she uses to pay for the mortgage on her two houses, her $16,000 monthly clothes bill, the $15,000 in child support she pays to Kevin Federline and the $20,000 spousal support. And then there's the slightly less specific $102,000 Britney Spears blows each month on entertainment, gifts and vacations. And the zero dollars she spends on education, even though she could have given 20p to a Special Brew-addled tramp and he'd have taught her how to mime to own song more convincingly than she managed at the MTV VMAs.

Compare that to Kevin Federline, though. He has less than two weeks left of spousal support, after which he'll have to fend for himself. That shouldn't be too hard – last year Kevin Federline managed to earn $500,000 in total. However, shave off the $7,500 he pays in rent monthly, the $6,000 he pays in security, the $2,000 he spends on clothes, the $5,000 he spends on entertainment, gifts and vacations and the $1,500 he spends eating out and he only came out of last year with a profit of $7,436.

What's that? You want to know what royalties Kevin Federline earnt from sales of his high-profile single release PopoZao? $3,300 which, to put it comparatively, is what Britney Spears spends on Taco Bell and Starbucks every three weeks.

Some analysts are concerned that Britney Spears doesn't put any of her earnings into savings or investments for the future, even though she must be as aware of fame's fickle nature as anyone else, but they really needn't worry. You see, judging by Gimme More, Britney Spears saves all kinds money by refusing to spend more than $2.27 on her music videos.