execution - HecklerSpray

Christina Aguilera Has Put Some Weight On Which Is Great For 6th Form Feminists

January 9th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Christina Aguilera has a problem. That problem is not knowing when to tone it down when she’s singing. That’s it. That’s the only thing that is truly wearisome about her. Even when she flubbed her lines while singing the American National Anthem, only bozos got narked.

However, there’s another thing that people keep mentioning – her weight.

See, Xtina has put a bit of chub on lately and pretty much no-one gives three hoots. And why would they? She’s not stealing food from your plate. However, women appear to be obsessed with the breadth of female celebrities with the caveat of ‘not that it matters of course!’ Either way, by not caring, Aguilera has been asked about her dress size. Again. Apparently, she’s thrilled.

Execution Of Civil Servants Imminent After Jeremy Clarkson’s Call To Arms

December 1st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Civil servants should be very, very worried. Your time is up. You’re about to be killed. Hunted like mongrels and executed before your weeping families. It sounds fanciful, but it is definitely, definitely going to happen.

That’s because the good people of Britain are unable to form opinions of their own, instead, they wait for celebrities to say things so they can be followed out to the letter.

Y’see, supreme leader of men, Jeremy Clarkson has called for all public sector workers to be shot dead in front of their families. He made an impassioned plea via popular chatshow, The One Show.

Cyndi Lauper To Be Executed For Vile Act During 9/11 Tribute [Video]

September 12th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

America is feeling very, very patriotic at the moment as they unify in memory over the events of 9/11, when some planes went and killed a load of people. Horrifying stuff, not least for the pointless memories of those on twitter saying “I remember watching it on TV”

And America is jumpy enough at the moment. First off, the American Army declared war on Soulja Boy after he said they were rubbish… and now, they’ve got Cyndi Lauper to invade too.

That’s because Lauper did the worst thing imaginable. She got the words wrong to the American National Anthem. As well you know, messing with the Star Spangled Banner, or indeed, mocking the bit of cloth that is their flag, is punishable by death.