The nation is mourning today as its greatest disc-jockey, Chris Evans, 41, has admitted to taking magic mushrooms, and has therefore broken a Great British law.
A law that clearly states that you must not eat magic mushrooms, citizen. And Chris, our Chris – your Chris, my Chris, everyones a Chris, Chris – has not only defied that law, but he has also broadcast the fact to the general public. He has said:
"It was a Meat Loaf concert, two days before which I’d had rather more magic mushrooms than maybe I should have."
Read More >>>
Chris Evans Should Receive Corporal PunishmentThe nation is mourning today as it's greatest disc-jockey, Chris Evans, 41, has admitted to taking magic mushrooms, and has therefore broken a Great British law.
A law that clearly states that you must not eat magic mushrooms, citizen. And Chris, our Chris - you're Chris, my Chris, everyone's a Chris, Chris - has not only defied that law, but he has also broadcast the fact to the general public. He has said:
“It was a Meat Loaf concert, two days before which I’d had rather more magic mushrooms than maybe I should have"
Whether Chris likes it or not, our laws are there for a reason; for the benefit of society as a whole. Most upstanding citizens, upon happening upon some magic mushrooms, would automatically grab them in the palm of their hand, make sure no children were within a two mile radius - systematically culling those that were - before incinerating the mushrooms and then themselves, just in case some of it's anti-social spours had rubbed off on said upstanding citizens hands, all in the name of keeping society together - a concept that Mr Chris Evans seemingly cares for not a jot.
Here’s a prediction: there will never be another X Factor Disco Night ever again, judging by Simon Cowell’s furious puce face as soon as he realised that not a single one of the X Factor contestants managed to be anything but cack.
In fact, the X Factor Disco Night went so badly that Simon Cowell has jacked in all of the forthcoming X Factor theme nights as a result. Saturday’s proposed Motown Night has been replaced by the painfully generic Love Songs Night – which means the X Factor contestants can choose between My Love, Chains Of Love, Stoned Love, Hot Love, Puppy Love, Loop Di Love, Young Love, Wild Love, Radar Love, Silly Love, Dr Love, Modern Love, Big Love, Bad Love, Dirty Love, Love Shack or Chick-A-Boom (Don’t Ya Jes Love It) and no other songs. And God knows what’ll happen to the other proposed X Factor theme nights, like X Factor Narcocorrido Night or X Factor Malaysian Ronggeng Night.
But let’s worry about that later, because we don’t know who’s going to win X Factor yet. And here are today’s X Factor betting odds – for Beverley Trottman, Niki Evans and Rhydian Roberts, with help from Paddy Power…
Read More >>>
Here's a prediction: there will never be another X Factor Disco Night ever again, judging by Simon Cowell's furious puce face as soon as he realised that not a single one of the X Factor contestants managed to be anything but cack.
In fact, the X Factor Disco Night went so badly that Simon Cowell has jacked in all of the forthcoming X Factor theme nights as a result. Saturday's proposed Motown Night has been replaced by the painfully generic Love Songs Night - which means the X Factor contestants can choose between My Love, Chains Of Love, Stoned Love, Hot Love, Puppy Love, Loop Di Love, Young Love, Wild Love, Radar Love, Silly Love, Dr Love, Modern Love, Big Love, Bad Love, Dirty Love, Love Shack or Chick-A-Boom (Don't Ya Jes Love It) and no other songs. And God knows what'll happen to the other proposed X Factor theme nights, like X Factor Narcocorrido Night or X Factor Malaysian Ronggeng Night.
But let's worry about that later, because we don't know who's going to win X Factor yet. And here are today's X Factor betting odds - for Beverley Trottman, Niki Evans and Rhydian Roberts, with help from Paddy Power...
The nation is mourning today as its greatest disc-jockey, Chris Evans, 41, has admitted to taking magic mushrooms, and has therefore broken a Great British law.
