Do you have a dog? Word to the wise – no-one actually cares. It’s your stupid, gristle-munching crap-factory and no-one else wants to deal with it outside of occasional petting of it when we have to visit your fur covered home that smells like dog’s teeth.
That’s because dogs are stupid. They’re impressively stupid. They walk into things, frighten themselves when flatulent and will forever be fooled by someone pretending to throw a ball for them. Dogs, in short, are idiots.
With that, someone ought to tell Eva Mendes who is ten shades of thrilled that she talks to her dog in French and is bowled over that it knows what she’s on about. Or rather, it has no idea.
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It was only a matter of time until Mark Wahlberg embraced the fact that he was fast turning into bumbling platypus that Tinsletown pointed and laughed at.
Firstly, he had the indignity of dubbing himself ‘Marky Mark,’ affiliating himself with the hideously named Funky Bunch, starring in numerous so-so movies (under the guise of serious acting), and finally topping it off with a verbal joust with a resolute plant. Which, the plant won.
Its these previous overly po-faced performances that probably make him such a joy to watch throughout the latest Will Ferrell chuckle-fest, The Other Guys. That and the script, direction and all the other actors, obviously.
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There’s no doubt that comic book movies have included some of the hottest actresses around.
It only makes sense. I mean, if you were creating a comic book story, wouldn’t you draw the hottest women you could think of?
So, obviously, when it comes to turning these scribbles into real people for Movieland, you really have to find the cream. And, for the most part, the studios get it right. So much so, that crunching them down into just 26 was one of the hardest tasks we have ever done.
But it was worth every minute. Enjoy.
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Advertising is the easiest job known to man. Come on, it’s hardly rocket science, is it?
You want to sell a car? Employ Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba to tongue each other on the bonnet dressed in bikinis. Simple. You want to sell an aftershave? Employ Hayden Panettiere or Megan Fox to suddenly find any man wearing it irresistible. Simple, but effective. And, let’s face it, anything is better than those bloody aftershave ads that look like something Tracy Emin vomited out after a night on the tiles.
You want to sell tampons? OK, you’re on your own.
The point is, it’s hardly rocket science. Sex sells – everyone knows that. Give a heterosexual man enough of a look at sexy lady flesh and he’ll be halfway to the shop before you know it. New deodorant? Great. New mobile phone? OK! New treatment for thrush? Errr.
It’s not that we’re simple – we just like to look at images of half-naked, sexy girls. Well, just to emphasise the point, Hecklerspray has overcome some technical issues and decided to come up with its choice of the sexiest ads to date, properly this time. Enjoy!
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Advertising is the easiest job known to man. Come on, it's hardly rocket science, is it?
You want to sell a car? Employ Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba to tongue each other on the bonnet dressed in bikinis. Simple. You want to sell an aftershave? Employ Hayden Panettiere or Megan Fox to suddenly find any man wearing it irresistible. Simple, but effective. And, let's face it, anything is better than those bloody aftershave ads that look like something Tracy Emin vomited out after a night on the tiles.
You want to sell tampons? OK, you're on your own.
The point is, it's hardly rocket science. Sex sells – everyone knows that. Give a heterosexual man enough of a look at sexy lady flesh and he'll be halfway to the shop before you know it. New deodorant? Great. New mobile phone? OK! New treatment for thrush?Errr.
It's not that we're simple – we just like to look at images of half-naked, sexy girls. Well, just to emphasise the point, Hecklerspray has decided to come up with its choice of the sexiest ads to date. Enjoy!
It’s just typical. You finally get an advert worth watching – and then it gets banned.
US TV network bosses have deemed Eva Mendes’ advert for Calvin Klein Secret Obsession perfume – in which she writhes around naked on her bed – as too hot for TV.
Bloody squares. OK, so you can see a bit of nipple, but still.
Anyway, thankfully, hecklerspray has no such concerns, so you can watch Eva Mendes in all her glory below the cut. Enjoy!!
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Quickly, name three interesting things about Eva Mendes! Boobs! Rehab! Er…
Can’t do it, can you? That’s because there are only two interesting things about Eva Mendes – her boobs and that time she went to rehab. And it’s a good job that Eva Mendes enjoys getting her boobs out so frequently, because she’s buggered if she’s telling us anything about rehab.
In the latest issue of Interview magazine, Eva Mendes has decided to ‘neither confirm nor deny’ rumours about why she checked into the Cirque Lodge rehab facility earlier this year. One rumour, possibly started by Eva herself, is that she only went to rehab to research a role. We’ll see how true that is once we’ve worked out whether her next film is about a dreary old self-absorbed tosspot ot not.
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We can't overstate how selfish Eva Mendes is being at the moment – what sort of self-respecting celebrity quietly goes off to rehab instead of having a massive teary public breakdown?
And what's more, it turns out that Eva Mendes has left rehab without immediately trying to validate her stay by combing over every single tiny personal blip she's ever experienced to a number of glossy magazines. The bitch!
However, Eva Mendes isn't through with rehab yet – reports suggest that she's only left temporarily. But that doesn't answer any of our questions, like why Eva Mendes was even in rehab to begin with, or how long her break from rehab will last or if agreeing to star in Ghost Rider was a direct consequence of being hammered on a shitload of drugs. These are the big questions, people.
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One name that you wouldn't particularly expect to see on a rehab admission list is Eva Mendes.
That's because Eva Mendes has never crashed her car drunk, had public drug-addled razorblade fights with men about a prostitute or called anyone 'Sugartits' – all tell-tale signs of the rehab-bound.
But never mind that, because Eva Mendes has gone to rehab. And she's been there for several weeks. And she couldn't even be bothered to shave off all her hair in front of a swarm of paparazzi first. What a selfish bitch.
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