Posts tagged as:

Eurovision

Scottish Independence Equals Scotland At Eurovision

by Mof Gimmers

Blue’s fairly average effort at the Eurovision Song Contest over the weekend, in which they discussed the merits of a mysterious figure named ‘Ican’, brought to light an interesting political phenomenon north of the border (in Scotland, yeah?). On realizing that even Jedward were better than the UK entry, several sources on the Twitter could [...]

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Blue Can’t Comprehend Europewide Ambivalence So Blame Failure On Politics

by Mof Gimmers

The Eurovision has been and gone, with an immediately forgettable song from Azerbaijan winning, leaving the controller of AzTV absolutely shitting his pants at the prospect of hosting one of the most prestigious shows in the calendar. More forgettable that the winning song… which was called… uh… um… whatever it was, is ‘I Can’ by [...]

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HecklerPlay: It’s Eurovision Time, Again

by Matthew Laidlow

As far as most music fans in the UK are concerned, there is no other country in Europe that can produce decent quality sounds. This seems like a pretty arrogant attitude to take when you look at the UK charts and consider the fact that sodding Adele has been at number one for weeks. Nonetheless, [...]

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Lee Ryan Isn’t A Moron – He’s A Genius

by Matthew Laidlow

When PR people tout their products to us, we’re often told that “it’s the film or album of the year,” this is quite a statement considering we get sent this claims every day of the year. However, we can categorically say that Lee Ryan of terrible manband Blue has given the quote of the year. [...]

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“Father Of The Year Nominations” Being Taken – Lee Ryan Shrugs And Stares At His Feet

by Paul Pencott

Latter-day adherent to the Knights Code of Chivalry Lee Ryan has had yet another busy weekend making himself appear exactly as gash as everyone had long-ago decided he actually is. When quizzed as to why he rarely visits his ‘love-child’ daughter, the permanently perplexed-looking poltroon replied with the justification: “I already have a son.” Latter-day [...]

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Blue Vs The Wanted: It’s ON! And Then It’s Off Again.

by Paul Pencott

Massively unsympathetic squinty-eyed failed solo artist, pretend hard-man and member of Blue Lee Ryan has had a busy weekend of failed chat-up lines, starting ridiculous feuds with other boy-bands and then unreservedly apologising for the whole thing like a great big girl’s blouse. The absurd prancing marionette recently informed a listless world of his thoughts [...]

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Urine Trouble Now Blue As Anthony Costa Toilets Away Eurovision Hope For The UK

by Matthew Laidlow

It was announced recently that boyband goons Blue would fly the flag for the UK and attempt to convince Europe that we haven’t lost the musical talent we once possessed. We’d be lying if we weren’t one of the people questioning the decision of sending a retired act to compete. But then again, we spend [...]

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Blue Set To Embarrass The UK In This Year’s Eurovision

by Matthew Laidlow

It seems bitterly ironic that the UK fails to storm home every year as winners in the Eurovision song contest. After all, you just have to look at the wide variety of established musical acts across multiple genres. We’ve seen it all from jazz, punk, indie, rock ‘n’ roll and electronic. Whenever we look to [...]

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Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

by Chris Laverty

What’s in and what’s out for the cool kids this week. Folded: Eurovision! (the campest Euro-crap pop imaginable. Who else loved it?) Luther (his first name’s even John!! Well into so bad it’s good territory) Ultra Culture screening Trash Humpers (which looks bizarre, but in a good way) Arjun Rajyagor (to win! TO WIN!) These [...]

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Spain’s Stage Invader Vaguely Saves The Eurovision Contest

by Matthew Laidlow

If you wanted to listen to crap music on a loop for three continuous hours, you’d have a couple of options. The most obvious choice is the entire back catalogue of Blue, although there’s also the Eurovision Song Contest. To anyone outside of Europe unfamiliar with the competition, it’s an excuse to laugh at rubbish [...]

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