Here it is, the moment literally nobody on Earth has been waiting for – the Eurovision Song Contest 2009.

This year, Eurovision is coming all the way from Moscow. We’re not, by the way. We’re sitting on a sofa in what appears to be a US military-approved stress position hammering away on a grossly underpowered laptop. But that’s beside the point. Can the UK win Eurovision this year? No. No we can’t. But join us back here at 8pm so we can all watch the spectacular failure together.

The liveblog’s ready for you after the jump, incidentally. What are you waiting for?