There was a distinct dampness in the air around the world last night. Meteorologists struggled to explain the phenomenon which seemed to emanate from the Hollywood hills. However, when it was officially announced that Hollywood heart-throb and all round photogenic guy George Clooney and his girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis had parted ways the meteorologists were allowed to go home as the explanation was suddenly self-explanatory.
The actor, who played Danny Ocean in the surprisingly good remake of Ocean’s 11 (and its subsequent awful successors), and the Italian actress who began dating two years ago, issued a joint statement declaring that they were “not together any more” which will no doubt lead to a surge in the number of missing women the world over as they run away to stalk the chiselled star.
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If you’re a fan of George Clooney and you miss the days when he used to cut people open so he could more accurately shift their innards around – have we got good news for you!
No, we’re not talking about every single girl he dated in the eighties and their wild accusations against him – if they exist at all. We’re talking about him making a bold return to ER – that Doogie Howser spin-off with an all grown-up cast.
You see, as we heard it he’s short on cash, and he became so right in the middle of a driveway repaving. That’s when ER execs swooped in with several individually wrapped dollar bills to impress him with.
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When you think ER, one name comes to mind – George Clooney. And then Noah Wyle. And then maybe that Croatian bloke.
And then Anthony Edwards, Alex Kingston, Eriq La Salle, Mekhi Phifer and Linda Cardellini. And then Marilyn Sue Perry who played Prison Ward OB Nurse Judy Rogers in two episodes a decade ago. And then, maybe, if you haven’t passed out from exhaustion, you might think of Parminder Nagra.
And congratulations if you did, because Parminder Nagra has got married. We’re guessing here, but we’d say Parminder Nagra’s wedding is probably the biggest thing to happen to the world this week.
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ER, the hospital show that nobody watches any more, has produced some big stars in its time – you know who we’re talking about.
We’re talking about Mekhi Phifer, famous for his tiny bitpart in the Eminem movie 8 Mile. And Noah Wyle, who left ER and found fame as the lead in The Librarian: Quest for the Spear – the only film in history that nobody has ever even considered watching. Oh, and Anthony Edwards.
But although Anthony Edwards left ER six years ago when his character died of brain cancer, the good news is that he’s back! Anthony Edwards is making an impressive return to ER tonight to mark the final season of the show, in an episode we’ll presume is called Why Doesn’t George Clooney Return Our Calls Any More?
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