hecklerspray’s been asked to guest-spot on Ugly Betty thousands of times, but we keep turning them down as none of the scripts featured us making love to the sun on the back of a saddled lion.

It’s our one requirement. You hear that Betty producers? Our ONE requirement!

Lindsay Lohan has also been asked to be on the show for a multi-episode arc. Although her part will probably be horribly written with no celestial/planetary love-making on top of tamed animals whatsoever, she took them up on it anyway. Now everyone on-set regrets offering her the part, and her six episode stint has been hacked down to four just to get her out the door a little faster.

The former and future straight Ms. Lindsay Lohan has a lot on her plate nowadays. Not only will she single handedly drag Barack Obama all the way into the presidency of something or other, but she also has to constantly remember to publicly hate her dad every chance she gets – and that’ll just take a toll.

We imagine that is exactly what happened on the set of Ugly Betty, a show that revolves around the misgivings of a rather large toad, from all we can tell. Lohan was supposed to be on set for six entire episodes, but folks say she clashed to much with the show’s star, American Ferrari. Or something.

Here’s what Page Six knows:

“IT got so ugly on the set of “Ugly Betty” between Lindsay Lohan and the popular ABC show’s star, America Ferrera, that Lohan was cut from an agreed-upon six episodes to four. One production source said, “It was a mess. Lindsay would show up every day with an entourage of people. She smoked 24/7, and after she left, they had to repaint her dressing room it was such a mess.”"

And what specifically happened on the set to merit Lohan’s rapid ejection from the building? Something about smoking all the time, making that Ferrari girl do things first, and constantly clipping pictures of herself out of tabloids. Also there were reports about Lindsay climbing onto the hanging lights and liquid pooping straight onto a fast-spinning ceiling fan.

Things like that wouldn’t really happen if Sam Ronson would just hide the stool softener. Seriously Sam – at least do it on work days.