Everyone had a really good weekend, looking forward to Monday, in the hope that Saint Bono was actually going to die. It looked odds-on too, as he was rushed into a hospital with a heart so heavy about the plight of the third-world, it could no longer continue.
But alas, like all great news, it was too good to be true as it emerged that there’s pretty much nothing wrong with Bono and that, in fact, he’s made a pact with Jesus Christ Himself to outlive absolutely everyone on Earth, just so he can have the last word.
The prick.
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Accessory to musical murder U2 guitarist The Edge has been told that his proposed property development would be one of the “worst” things to happen to California in terms of environmental devastation.
The guitarist, famous for making a noise which is primarily effects with a thin, marmalade-like scraping of musical ability, had applied for permission to build a group of mansions near Malibu; the plush hangout of the rich and famous… and U2.
The friend of Bono (the guy who wears the glasses and talks too much)- whose real name is Audley Hedgerow – had made a proposal to construct five mansions overlooking Malibu rejected by the California Coastal Commission. Despite making reassurances that the venture would be environmentally-friendly, The Edge’s plans were rejected out of hand due to its impact on the ecosystem in the area.
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Think of the environment and, depending on how gloomy you are, you either think of lambs frolicking in a meadow or a sad polar bear drowning in the sea.
But a non-stop torrent of hilarious blood and death? No. Which is why this new advert from the WWF is so bewildering. We think the point is that if you don’t recycle properly you’ll get mown down by some sort of gigantic vehicle, but we can’t be fully sure.
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