Articles tagged with: Engaged
Gisele Gets Engaged To Presumably Very Smug Man
Nothing makes us feel fuzzier than when two attractive, successful millionaires rub their happiness in our faces. So you won't be able to imagine how fuzzy we feel now we've learnt that supermodel Gisele Bundchen, a woman so far out of our league that we barely qualify as the same species as her, has got engaged to Tom Brady - a professional athlete who could undoubtedly beat us in a fight even if we were armed and he wasn't. Congratulations to Tom and Gisele, then - may your children be just as attractive as you but somehow take their intellect from a better-equipped third party.
Nothing makes us feel fuzzier than when two attractive, successful millionaires rub their happiness in our faces. So you won't be able to imagine how fuzzy we feel now we've learnt that supermodel Gisele Bundchen, a woman so far out of our league that we barely qualify as the same species as her, has got engaged to Tom Brady - a professional athlete who could undoubtedly beat us in a fight even if we were armed and he wasn't. Congratulations to Tom and Gisele, then - may your children be just as attractive as you but somehow take their intellect from a better-equipped third party.
Alyssa Milano Gets Engaged To Some Bloke On Purpose
There's nothing more heartwarming than when actresses who we forgot even existed get engaged to anonymous men, is there? That's why we're so over the moon for Alyssa Milano. According to reports, Alyssa Milano has got engaged to David Bugliari, a man who - as proved by at least one piece of photographic evidence - sometimes wears a tie and stuff. Actually David Bugliari is an agent at the Creative Arts Agency, so hopefully his engagement to Alyssa Milano will spark off a career renaissance that takes Alyssa back to her glory years. That's right: we're talking Poison Ivy II: II here.
There's nothing more heartwarming than when actresses who we forgot even existed get engaged to anonymous men, is there? That's why we're so over the moon for Alyssa Milano. According to reports, Alyssa Milano has got engaged to David Bugliari, a man who - as proved by at least one piece of photographic evidence - sometimes wears a tie and stuff. Actually David Bugliari is an agent at the Creative Arts Agency, so hopefully his engagement to Alyssa Milano will spark off a career renaissance that takes Alyssa back to her glory years. That's right: we're talking Poison Ivy II: II here.
Katy Perry No Longer Kissing That One Specific Boy
Although we suspect that fans of Katy Perry and Gym Class Heroes are already great at coping with disappointment, they probably should brace themselves anyway. You see Katy Perry and her Gym Class Hero boyfriend Travis McCoy have apparently split up, just weeks after they apparently got engaged. It's all very sad and, as yet, nobody knows who'll take custody of their one good song. The split seems to have hit Travis McCoy particularly hard, as his recent angry blog entries have proved. Honestly, what sort of pathetic loser sits around all day filling the internet with vicious hatred? Oh.
Although we suspect that fans of Katy Perry and Gym Class Heroes are already great at coping with disappointment, they probably should brace themselves anyway. You see Katy Perry and her Gym Class Hero boyfriend Travis McCoy have apparently split up, just weeks after they apparently got engaged. It's all very sad and, as yet, nobody knows who'll take custody of their one good song. The split seems to have hit Travis McCoy particularly hard, as his recent angry blog entries have proved. Honestly, what sort of pathetic loser sits around all day filling the internet with vicious hatred? Oh.
Sorry Girls, Katy Perry Is Engaged
Credit where credit's due - for a one-hit wonder, Katy Perry's awfully good at staying in the news, isn't she? This time, Katy Perry has managed to sneak back into the headlines for possibly getting engaged to her boyfriend Travis McCoy. Possibly, you understand - nobody knows for sure, making them the Jay-Z and Beyonce that nobody gives a stuff about. Strangely, this engagement coincides with that Katy Perry pop video that's all about her wedding, showing the extent that Katy Perry pop videos can foretell the future. So fingers crossed that her next video involves her retiring from music while she's still got some dignity left.
Credit where credit's due - for a one-hit wonder, Katy Perry's awfully good at staying in the news, isn't she? This time, Katy Perry has managed to sneak back into the headlines for possibly getting engaged to her boyfriend Travis McCoy. Possibly, you understand - nobody knows for sure, making them the Jay-Z and Beyonce that nobody gives a stuff about. Strangely, this engagement coincides with that Katy Perry pop video that's all about her wedding, showing the extent that Katy Perry pop videos can foretell the future. So fingers crossed that her next video involves her retiring from music while she's still got some dignity left.
Now Kendra Wilkinson Breaks Hugh Hefner’s Mangy Old Heart
Hugh Hefner's girlfriends are fleeing at an amazing rate - it's almost as if withered octogenarians aren't sexy any more, isn't it. First Hugh Hefner's heart was broken by the loss of his number one girlfriend Holly Madison, who made the somewhat perplexing decision to run off with a rubbish emo magician. And now one of his other girlfriends - the equally generic titty model Kendra Wilkinson - has decided to leave Hugh Hefner and get engaged to an American football player as well. Although Hugh Hefner seems to remain on good terms with Kendra Wilkinson, this news must have nevertheless bruised him quite badly. After all, it's hardly as if Hugh Hefner lives in a great big house stuffed full of identical booby halfwits all willing to have gruesome, underwhelming sex with a frail 82-year-man just because they'll probably get a minor role on a crappy reality TV show out of it, is it? Oh.
Hugh Hefner's girlfriends are fleeing at an amazing rate - it's almost as if withered octogenarians aren't sexy any more, isn't it. First Hugh Hefner's heart was broken by the loss of his number one girlfriend Holly Madison, who made the somewhat perplexing decision to run off with a rubbish emo magician. And now one of his other girlfriends - the equally generic titty model Kendra Wilkinson - has decided to leave Hugh Hefner and get engaged to an American football player as well. Although Hugh Hefner seems to remain on good terms with Kendra Wilkinson, this news must have nevertheless bruised him quite badly. After all, it's hardly as if Hugh Hefner lives in a great big house stuffed full of identical booby halfwits all willing to have gruesome, underwhelming sex with a frail 82-year-man just because they'll probably get a minor role on a crappy reality TV show out of it, is it? Oh.
Eddie Van Halen Gets Engaged To Woman Who Doesn’t Seem To Mind He’s Mostly Decomposing
If you’re a somewhat famous person who hasn’t really gotten it together in years – what you need is a good publicist. Seriously – a good publicist can do wonders for your career. They’ll get your name on marquees, they’ll make the masses forget you’re ugly and dumb, and dang it all, they’ll even marry you if that’s what it takes to sell your next album. We can’t guarantee all publicists will marry you – but Eddie Van Halen’s will. She’ll marry you in a heartbeat - even if you look kinda like you’ve been buried in a moist hill for over 200 years. It’s because she does what it takes – whatever it takes, to get you a headline or two. That’s what we assume anyway – because she just got romantically engaged to E Van Halen. Yes, she got romantically engaged to him, with plans to romantically marry him. Now that’s dedication.
If you’re a somewhat famous person who hasn’t really gotten it together in years – what you need is a good publicist. Seriously – a good publicist can do wonders for your career. They’ll get your name on marquees, they’ll make the masses forget you’re ugly and dumb, and dang it all, they’ll even marry you if that’s what it takes to sell your next album. We can’t guarantee all publicists will marry you – but Eddie Van Halen’s will. She’ll marry you in a heartbeat - even if you look kinda like you’ve been buried in a moist hill for over 200 years. It’s because she does what it takes – whatever it takes, to get you a headline or two. That’s what we assume anyway – because she just got romantically engaged to E Van Halen. Yes, she got romantically engaged to him, with plans to romantically marry him. Now that’s dedication.
Jennifer Hudson In ‘Gets Engaged To Bloke’ Shock
Jennifer Hudson's a wildcat, isn't she. For instance, remember that time she got drunk, punched a bear in the face and then skateboarded down the Eiffel Tower? You don't? Well, that's because it never happened. Jennifer Hudson isn't a wildcat at all. Jennifer Hudson is a bit boring. In fact, it's impossible to make Jennifer Hudson interesting. Jennifer Hudson wouldn't even be interesting if she sneezed fireworks and farted mice. Having said that, Jennifer Hudson has just announced her engagement to David Otunga, who's apparently a man of some sort. And, let's be fair, that is interesting, provided that a) you know who David Otunga is, b) you care enough about Jennifer Hudson to invest in her personal life and c) you're a gormless dumdum of the absolute highest order.
Jennifer Hudson's a wildcat, isn't she. For instance, remember that time she got drunk, punched a bear in the face and then skateboarded down the Eiffel Tower? You don't? Well, that's because it never happened. Jennifer Hudson isn't a wildcat at all. Jennifer Hudson is a bit boring. In fact, it's impossible to make Jennifer Hudson interesting. Jennifer Hudson wouldn't even be interesting if she sneezed fireworks and farted mice. Having said that, Jennifer Hudson has just announced her engagement to David Otunga, who's apparently a man of some sort. And, let's be fair, that is interesting, provided that a) you know who David Otunga is, b) you care enough about Jennifer Hudson to invest in her personal life and c) you're a gormless dumdum of the absolute highest order.
Cameron Diaz Either Engaged Or Not Engaged Or Whatever
Good news, people who still care about Cameron Diaz despite countless reasons why you shouldn't - it looks like your girl's got herself engaged.
Cameron Diaz has been seen out and about with a gigantic diamond ring wedged right onto her wedding ring finger, prompting speculation that she's going to get married to Jennifer Aniston's ex, Paul Sculfor. Exciting!
Only you should probably dismiss that notion, because Cameron Diaz's people have said that she isn't engaged, and that the ring she was seen waving around so furiously recently was an old ring of hers that she just happened to be wearing on her ring finger in public.
So maybe Cameron Diaz is engaged and maybe she isn't. One thing's for sure - we genuinely couldn't care less about any of it either way. Hooray for us!
