Encounter - HecklerSpray

Awesome or Off-Putting: Henry Hudson Meets The Catskill Gnomes

January 31st, 2011 By Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Henry Hudson was a brave explorer from yesteryear who demanded that Ohio be spelled with an ‘O’ at both ends. That really seems like a brazen waste of vowels to us. Not as bad as Hawaii though. Seriously – ‘Hawi’ would get the point across just fine – plus we heard their school system already teaches it like that. All we’re saying is the island state would probably fair better on the SATs if the answers more closely reflected the crummy curriculum.

And no doubt Henry Hudson, who we think we might have been talking about a second ago, would probably agree. As would the Gnomes he claimed to have happened upon in the Catskills.

Awesome or Off-Putting: Chiles-Whitted UFO Encounter From 1948

December 13th, 2010 By Shawn Lindseth

90% of the time people sight UFOs it ends up being a comet, a misidentified airplane, or a child who’d sucked too much helium and floated way up into the sky. That last one is personal experience.

But the point being the encounters can usually be easily explained. But what about when it can’t be? The Chiles-Whitted sighting, for instance, will probably leave little brown clumps all over your underpants-innards.

Awesome or Off-Putting: The Grinning Man

December 13th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

The thing that bugs hecklerspray most about its dearly departed mother-in-law was the way she lay in the coffin with that wide-toothed, ear-to-ear grin. It’s an image that still haunts us as we lay awake at night staring into the darkness of our clenched eyelids.

The Grinning Man has a (probably) less frightening smile on him – but those who’ve seen him would likely argue that point.

Awesome or Off-Putting: Cop Sees Aliens In Fresh Crop Circle

November 16th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

When it comes to aliens there are generally three kinds – the fuzzy ones that eat cats and thrive on prime-time TV, there’s the kind with the broom-helmets that occasionally show up to thwart Bugs Bunny, and there’s the super hot ones to which all of mankind happily hands over their planet. Like on V.

Add to that all inclusive list, if you will, the Nordics. Like the ones an off-duty police officer just reported encountering.

Awesome Or Off-Putting: This Man (In Everybody’s Dream)

October 26th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

As paranormal events go, this one really stands out. It stands out, perhaps, because we’ve never heard of anything quite like it. There are no UFOs to speak of, nobody’s claimed a terrifying ape-man encounter deep in the woods, and as far as we can tell nobody’s gotten ghost-hickeys.

Ask our Aunt Sally about the hickeys.

Today’s topic is a man who has appeared in everybody’s dream.

Awesome or Off-Putting: Black Eyed Kids

October 5th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

Ghosts are passe and Sasquatch seems about as scary as a bucket full of lollipops. Whatever is the former world of terror/monsters to do? Why, they need to invent some sort of a new creature to fear – and by new creature, we mean of course, children. Not just any children though – needy ones with black eyes.

Black eyed children, it seems, are a fairly new epidemic.

Awesome Or Off-Putting: The Agogwe

March 25th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

People are familiar enough with Bigfoot and the common descriptions given to him – that being visually identical to how Rosie O’Donnell would look if she always walked around naked and backwards with her face on the reverse-side of her skull. What people don’t often know is that the sasquatch is not the only hairy anomaly out there – oh no.

You see, there’s also the much less reported Agogwe – an animal that’s every bit as hairy as sasquatch but a fraction of the size. There have actually been a surprising amount of sightings of this guy – sightings to be detailed on the next page, sucka.

Awesome Or Off-Putting: Phantom Planes

March 25th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

There’s ghosts, there’s UFOs, and then sometimes the two groups get together and have a real freaky lookin’ baby. They say the act itself is usually preluded with some smooth R&B after a night at the theatre and a nice dinner that costs more than $20 for the both of ’em.

The end result is something called Phantom Planes – airbuses that both look and sound real, but then disappear into nothing. Some low-flying encounters with them have been so lifelike that pedestrians have jumped for cover.

Awesome Or Off-Putting: The Demon Of Dover

March 25th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

The mental imagery of a creature called the Dover Demon may be one of a horned, scaly biped surrounded in flames and looking quite sinister. This description, however, seems to be more suited to Courtney Love than the actual Dover Demon itself. No, the Demon is actually described as being about four feet tall with a watermelon shaped, noseless and mouthless head. It was sighted three times in 1977, and people still be trippin’ about it today.

Awesome Or Off-Putting: Mahamba, The Congo’s 50 Foot Crocodile

March 25th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

If hecklerspray ever had to fight a crocodile, we’d start out by giving it our famous one-two punch, follow up with our world renowned triple-round-house kick, and then we’d force its tail into its own mouth making it chew until it was nothing more than a little scaly donut.

Don’t try that at home, kids. We’ve had training.

If we ever had to fight Mahamba, on the other hand, we’d probably do all the same things except with construction cranes instead of our hands. That’s because Mahamba is reported to be a 50′ long croc. It’s been sighted in the Congo, and some say it’s a remnant from a very ancient age.