Emma Watson could totally be richer than the Queen – but she would have no idea, as it’s been a hot minute since she counted out all the coppers in her extra-large piggy bank.

The Harry Potter actress was recently allowed access to her fortune and so we would advise her to get the floors of her home reinforced at this point. A net worth of around £10 million, when all saved in coppers, has got to weigh as much as a small elephant.

The 19-year-old star spoke to Elle magazine about how she had no idea that she was stinking rich. In much the same way that Hank Baskett pretended he was not marrying Kendra Wilkinson in the yard where she and Hugh Hefner had played find the ping pong ball this past weekend, Emma says that she calculates her net worth by multiplying her number of Twitter friends by iPod catalogue size, like most tweens.

This is the same naivete that meant Amy Winehouse did not know she had her body-weight in smack hidden in her beehive. Or the same willingness to forget about immense fame that leads Prince Harry to be photographed in women’s underwear/ sparkly nail polish.

Horrid things usually happen when celebrities forget they are rich and famous. However, the worst thing likely to happen in this case, is Emma forgetting she has a wad of £50 notes in her pocket and asking you to sub her a burger, when you go to Maccy Ds.

“My dad never told me how much money I was earning,” the actress told the August issue of Elle magazine. “Then, when I hit 18, he was like, ‘I want you to understand that your money isn’t some kind of abstract concept. I want you to have a feel for what it’s worth and what you can do with it.’”

Sure, this prolly happens to other celebrities too. Britney Spears‘ parents didn’t tell her she had enough money in the bank to buy a decent weave. And Paris Hilton‘s parents didn’t tell her that she had the power to stop the spread of VD, by just pulling up her pants. Secrets are terrible things, as is pretending you’re not mega wealthy.

“The truth is I’d just like to pretend that it [the money] doesn’t exist. It’s amazing how many children are aware from such a young age about money being important or supposedly impressive. Around the age of 13 or 14, kids used to come up to me and say, ‘You the girl on Harry Potter? How much do you make?’”

Emma’s fortune and floorboards are safe for now. She is probably better off pretending and not indulging the butt-kissing sycophants who ask her daily about her net worth. Should they need it, Heckler have a very, very safe cupboard under the stairs in which we can hide Emma’s £10 million, Amy’s crack and Paris’ STD meds. There… all safe.

This was a guest blog by Amy Grindhouse, who is so far beyond excellent that there isn’t even a word for it.

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