Articles tagged with: Elvis Presley
Elvis Presley may have shaped the modern notion of what popular music is, but was he ever the cover star of a '100 Hottest Body Tips From The Stars' special issue of People magazine?
No he wasn't. But Mariah Carey is. Thus Mariah is better than Elvis Presley.
And Mariah Carey isn't just better than Elvis Presley at having a beach fit bikini body, either - Mariah Carey is also better at music and stuff as well. It's true - Mariah Carey has notched up her 18th American number one single, while rubbish old Elvis Presley only managed to get 17 before he snuffed it. Mariah is the new Elvis! Yay! That means we'll be able to dress up like her and ghoulishly traipse around her house when she dies! Yay!
You may have seen pictures of Lisa Marie Presley recently and wondered how she got so enormous, but now we have the answer - Lisa Marie Presley ate a baby.
Wait, no, not that's not entirely true. In fact what's happened is that Lisa Marie Presley - daughter of Elvis Presley - is merely pregnant, as her spokesman has confirmed.
This will be Lisa Marie Presley's third child but, given that she's looking more and more like Fat Elvis with each passing day, it's unknown whether Lisa Marie will want to give birth to her baby in the regular way or die trying to crap it out of her arse on the toilet. As a mark of respect to her father, you understand.
There's nothing like a list of people who earn more in a year than you ever will in your entire life even though they've been dead for years to inject some sunshine into your life, is there?
That's right - the annual Forbes Dead Celebrity Rich List has been published, and it's been another classic year for Elvis Presley. Elvis has managed to earn $49 million over the last year, $5 million more than his nearest rival John Lennon could muster. It's a triumphant return to the top spot for Elvis Presley, who was knocked into second place last year by Kurt Cobain, with industry experts claiming that this reflects the current public trend for favouring bloated corpses with blasted-open colons over miserable corpses with bits of their heads missing.
