We know, we’re disappointed too. We were also looking forward to Elizabeth Taylor’s ninth wedding.
Imagine the guestlist. We’ve seen Elizabeth Taylor’s Twitter feed, so it seems perfectly obvious who she’d invite to her wedding – Kathy Ireland and the ghost of Michael Jackson. And that’s about it. Because they are the ONLY TWO THINGS THAT ELIZABETH TAYLOR EVER TWEETS ABOUT.
Actually that’s not true any more – yesterday Elizabeth Taylor jumped on Twitter to deny reports that she had got engaged to her manager Jason Winters. She loves him, she says, but they’re not getting married. That’s very canny of her – this way Elizabeth Taylor gets to have all the creepy old lady sex she likes, and then the only thing she needs to leave Jason Winters when she dies is the stark, shameful realisation that he’d been having it away with a 78-year-old wheelchair-bound old lady. Smart move, Elizabeth.
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When Elizabeth Taylor used Twitter to tell the world she was having heart surgery, it was a momentous occasion.
No, really, it was. It was the perfect meeting of old-school Hollywood glamour and cutting-edge social networking. And the good news is that it hasn’t finished yet – Elizabeth Taylor has used Twitter yet again to announce that her surgery was a success.
Elizabeth Taylor only left a brief message, though – not because she’s unwell, but because she’s now so into social networking that she also had to update her Facebook status to ‘Elizabeth is feeling wicked nang’ and upload a video of her getting her bum out onto YouTube.
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Elizabeth Taylor is such an attention-whore. There literally isn’t a trend on Earth that she won’t leap upon.
First it was Michael Jackson‘s death. Oh yeah, that’s right, grieve for your dead friend you horrific opportunist. God, you make us sick. And now, if that wasn’t bad enough, Elizabeth Taylor has started using Twitter as well. Twitter! She’s 77, for crying out loud! What on Earth could Elizabeth Taylor possibly have to tell anybody on Twitter?
Oh, that she’s about to undergo an experimental surgical procedure on her heart? Really? Well don’t we look like quite the insensitive arsehole right now?
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