It’s christmas. Woopdeedoo and loop de loop and all that. Yes, that’s right, since you all asked so fucking nicely, we didn’t bother to do a video this week as it’s the festive season and is therefore all about building up your hopes in order to dash them.
In fact, we’re so set on driving you all to distraction that we’re going to have Christmas specials every week now because that’s exactly what christmas is all about. Incessant disappointment until you eat so much chocolate and drink so much cheap sherry that you may as well check into Dignitas on Boxing Day.
Still, euthanasia aside, it’s always best to start the Christmas period as early as possible because that’s where you make the most money and since all of you dribbling gits out there in internet land believe that the Christmas period can only officially begin when the Coca Cola advert has tugged its way around your heartstrings, we decided to start as soon as they do.
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Pete Doherty’s prison adventure has been cut dramatically short – not by a horrific stabbing injury as some had hoped, but by early release.
Released less than a month into his 14-week jail sentence, Pete Doherty is now a free man once again, much like Ronnie Barker from Going Straight except a bit less funny and/or dead.
Still, even 29 days in jail is long enough for someone to become institutionalised, which means in the next few days you might see pictures of Pete Doherty stumbling around looking a bit confused and unwashed. Don’t worry if you do – it means he’s completely back to normal. Thanks folks, we’re here all week.
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It's outrageous – all Michelle Rodriguez wants to do is find beauty in a jail cell and the sods keep setting her free before she can properly find it.
Although Michelle Rodriguez started her 180-day jail sentence for probation violation just over a fortnight ago, it has been reported that she was last night set free for good behaviour. In total Michelle Rodriguez served just 17 days of her six-month sentence.
Michelle should count herself lucky – one day longer and she'd have had to suffer through a full 10 percent of her sentence. Imagine how hellish that would be.
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