Gutted. Not long into their relationship, Cameron Diaz and Alex Rodriguez’s relationship has ended. Alex who? Well, all you need to know is that he looks like The Rock, only if The Rock was a vagabond in the desert, living off the flesh of cactuses and the powdery bone-marrow of those which had died there.
Basically he’s like The Rock but thinner. And single. Very, very single.
Of course, this is devastating news for us all because, as you know, everyone on Earth is required to take part in the ‘Diaz Minute’, where the world is unified for one moment where we all down tools and reflect on how great she is. We sit on our special Diaz Beanbags and quietly ponder about her happiness and we hope that, in her already painfully luxurious life, she’s greedy enough to be happy in love too. She isn’t. She’s probably crying in her kitchen now, surrounded by empty cans of treacly super-strength beer.
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Dwayne Johnson a.k.a. The Rock a.k.a. The Great One a.k.a. The Brahma Bull a.k.a. The People’s Champion a.k.a. The Scorpion King has decided that now is the time for him to don his famous trunks once more and return to the world of professional wrestling.
That’s right folks. Finally, the Rock HAS COME BACK to the WWE.
While wrestling fans all over the globe doff their beer-hats and wipe a greasy tear from their collective faces with a podgy, cheese covered finger, we here at hecklerspray can only wonder what has caused The Rock to make such a grandiose return to Vince McMahon’s proverbial dead horse, which by now has been flogged more times than anyone cares to pay attention to. Read More >>>
Derek Thomson is what you’d call an asshole.
As a hard-hitting hockey pro and full-time meathead, Derek (Played by Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson) rules his life and family with a massive ego and an extra dose of spite.
What goes around, comes around…
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You know when the Rock played the part of the Scorpion King in that one Mummy movie? You know how he crawled out of hell or something and sat there looking at Brendan Frasier from across the pit of the damned?
You know what he was thinking? He was probably thinking ‘His lips….they’re perfect….’ or something along those lines. We know this because a thought bubble briefly appeared on screen while we were watching at home once. Also this kind of clears up why in his wrestling days his secret move looked so much like he was trying to help an unconscious opponent breathe.
He’s in the Get Smart movie that’s gonna be unrolling on us soon, and in it he has to practically suck the lips right off of Steve Carell. You know what he said about it? He said it was ‘…fantastic.’
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