Articles tagged with: DUI
Sam Shepard’s DUI Bust Means You Now Know Who Sam Shepard Is
There's nothing that Sam Shepard can't do - he's a Pulitzer Prize-winning author, a playwright and a movie star. Oh, and a boozy tit. Allegedly. Sam Shepard - from films like Black Hawk Down and Baby Boom - has been arrested on suspicion of speeding and driving drunk in Illinois. And that's more or less all there is to the story. Except that Sam Shepard now has something else to put on his CV alongside acting, directing, being a prize-winning writer and getting arrested on suspicion of DUI - his mugshots also make him look like Gordon Ramsay's homeless uncle. That's something to be proud of.
There's nothing that Sam Shepard can't do - he's a Pulitzer Prize-winning author, a playwright and a movie star. Oh, and a boozy tit. Allegedly. Sam Shepard - from films like Black Hawk Down and Baby Boom - has been arrested on suspicion of speeding and driving drunk in Illinois. And that's more or less all there is to the story. Except that Sam Shepard now has something else to put on his CV alongside acting, directing, being a prize-winning writer and getting arrested on suspicion of DUI - his mugshots also make him look like Gordon Ramsay's homeless uncle. That's something to be proud of.
Heather Locklear Charged With Driving All Berserk On Drugs
Heather Locklear must have been thrilled when she was arrested for DUI - at least it distracted everyone from all her horrible sitcoms. But now, possibly, Heather Locklear might just be starting to regret allegedly getting hammered on prescription medication and then parking her car in the middle of a state highway in floods of tears in September and then having a mugshot taken that makes her look a bit like a emotionally-sensitive panda being forced to watch the 2 Girls 1 Cup video. And that's because Heather Locklear has just been officially charged with misdemeanor driving under the influence of legally prescribed drugs. Who knew that Heather Locklear possibly had an addiction to prescription drugs? We'd have thought that her existing addictions - to making cacky TV shows and marrying idiots from crappy bands that only morons like - would have been enough for anyone.
Heather Locklear must have been thrilled when she was arrested for DUI - at least it distracted everyone from all her horrible sitcoms. But now, possibly, Heather Locklear might just be starting to regret allegedly getting hammered on prescription medication and then parking her car in the middle of a state highway in floods of tears in September and then having a mugshot taken that makes her look a bit like a emotionally-sensitive panda being forced to watch the 2 Girls 1 Cup video. And that's because Heather Locklear has just been officially charged with misdemeanor driving under the influence of legally prescribed drugs. Who knew that Heather Locklear possibly had an addiction to prescription drugs? We'd have thought that her existing addictions - to making cacky TV shows and marrying idiots from crappy bands that only morons like - would have been enough for anyone.
Lindsay Lohan Sued For Something From Back When She Was Fun
Older readers, if they cast their minds right back, may remember a time when Lindsay Lohan was, you know, interesting. Really interesting, too - there wasn't any of this 'occasional blogging about her implied lesbianism' malarkey going on back then. Because, back then, Lindsay Lohan could hardly go a day without getting hammered on one substance or another and driving around all over the place like a cackling bug-eyed lunatic until she was arrested. It was fun. But if you can't remember that, you soon will - because some peripheral characters from one of these bug-eyed driving encounters have decided to sue Lindsay Lohan for causing them 'surprise, shock, fear and panic'. Well, hey, we've seen the trailer for I Know Who Killed Me - and if fear and panic are legitimate reasons for suing Lindsay Lohan, then we'll just go and put a downpayment on that hillside mansion right now.
Older readers, if they cast their minds right back, may remember a time when Lindsay Lohan was, you know, interesting. Really interesting, too - there wasn't any of this 'occasional blogging about her implied lesbianism' malarkey going on back then. Because, back then, Lindsay Lohan could hardly go a day without getting hammered on one substance or another and driving around all over the place like a cackling bug-eyed lunatic until she was arrested. It was fun. But if you can't remember that, you soon will - because some peripheral characters from one of these bug-eyed driving encounters have decided to sue Lindsay Lohan for causing them 'surprise, shock, fear and panic'. Well, hey, we've seen the trailer for I Know Who Killed Me - and if fear and panic are legitimate reasons for suing Lindsay Lohan, then we'll just go and put a downpayment on that hillside mansion right now.
Heather Locklear DUI Arrest: It’s All The Paparazzi’s Fault
When Heather Locklear got arrested for DUI on Saturday, we thought we knew what we'd see - a funny mugshot, a fine and stint in rehab. But that'd be the easy way. Instead the Heather Locklear arrest story has chosen to get really weird. And it's all the paparazzi's fault. Remember the good Samaritan who alerted the police to Heather Locklear's erratic driving? Turns out she owns a paparazzi agency and managed to sell photos of Heather Locklear being arrested to TMZ for $27,000. So does that affect her credibility as a witness? Was she really just being a concerned citizen? Why's Heather Locklear famous again? What was the date of the first Spanish Armada? Who are you? Why do our legs hurt so much?
When Heather Locklear got arrested for DUI on Saturday, we thought we knew what we'd see - a funny mugshot, a fine and stint in rehab. But that'd be the easy way. Instead the Heather Locklear arrest story has chosen to get really weird. And it's all the paparazzi's fault. Remember the good Samaritan who alerted the police to Heather Locklear's erratic driving? Turns out she owns a paparazzi agency and managed to sell photos of Heather Locklear being arrested to TMZ for $27,000. So does that affect her credibility as a witness? Was she really just being a concerned citizen? Why's Heather Locklear famous again? What was the date of the first Spanish Armada? Who are you? Why do our legs hurt so much?
Heather Locklear’s Director Miffed About Her DUI Arrest
People, we think we've found the root of all Heather Locklear's problems - she's about to star in a film with Billy Ray Cyrus. It all make so much sense now - if you'd just spent several months making a family drama that nobody's going to watch, and had to do it in the presence of Billy Ray Cyrus, getting tanked up on prescription medicine and parking your car in the middle of a busy motorway would seem like a perfectly sensible thing to do, too. And now Heather Locklear has been arrested for DUI after allegedly doing exactly that, the director of this new movie has spoken out. Jim Amatuilli thinks that Heather Locklear's DUI arrest is 'sad', especially since it followed Heather's 'solid' work on the movie. Solid? That's the best adjective he could drum up in her greatest hour of need? No wonder Heather Locklear went mental. And that's not any solid. That's solid compared to Billy Ray Cyrus. Honestly, next time just go for the more sympathetic 'Oh, just kill yourself already,' Jim.
People, we think we've found the root of all Heather Locklear's problems - she's about to star in a film with Billy Ray Cyrus. It all make so much sense now - if you'd just spent several months making a family drama that nobody's going to watch, and had to do it in the presence of Billy Ray Cyrus, getting tanked up on prescription medicine and parking your car in the middle of a busy motorway would seem like a perfectly sensible thing to do, too. And now Heather Locklear has been arrested for DUI after allegedly doing exactly that, the director of this new movie has spoken out. Jim Amatuilli thinks that Heather Locklear's DUI arrest is 'sad', especially since it followed Heather's 'solid' work on the movie. Solid? That's the best adjective he could drum up in her greatest hour of need? No wonder Heather Locklear went mental. And that's not any solid. That's solid compared to Billy Ray Cyrus. Honestly, next time just go for the more sympathetic 'Oh, just kill yourself already,' Jim.
Heather Locklear Busted For Driving While SOMETHING
Know who we're still jealous of? Ava Sambora. She's just hit the jackpot - both her parents have now been arrested for DUI. Following Richie Sambora's DUI arret in March, Ava's mother Heather Locklear has gone and followed suit. According to reports, Heather Locklear was arrested for DUI on Saturday night after police found her parked on a motorway, blocking an entire lane. However, it's also been reported that alcohol wasn't a factor in Heather Locklear's arrest. That begs the question - what was Heather driving under the influence of? The best guess at the moment is that it was prescription medicine - but having seen Heather Locklear's arrest mugshot we're pretty sure that she was driving under the influence of either onions or the dark lord Satan.
Know who we're still jealous of? Ava Sambora. She's just hit the jackpot - both her parents have now been arrested for DUI. Following Richie Sambora's DUI arret in March, Ava's mother Heather Locklear has gone and followed suit. According to reports, Heather Locklear was arrested for DUI on Saturday night after police found her parked on a motorway, blocking an entire lane. However, it's also been reported that alcohol wasn't a factor in Heather Locklear's arrest. That begs the question - what was Heather driving under the influence of? The best guess at the moment is that it was prescription medicine - but having seen Heather Locklear's arrest mugshot we're pretty sure that she was driving under the influence of either onions or the dark lord Satan.
Shia LaBeouf Far Too Adorable To Be Charged With DUI
Wow, this really is a lucky escape for Shia LaBeouf - every single copy of his bad new movie Eagle Eye has been destroyed in a fire. Only kidding. In reality Shia LaBeouf has had another kind of lucky escape that's less lucky than nobody being able to ever watch that rubbish new film of his but still lucky nonetheless - he won't be charged for DUI after flipping his car upside down a few months ago. It's not all good news, though, because Shia could still lose his licence for up to nine months, because he refused to submit to a breathalyzer test. Worse still, Shia LaBeouf's crash-mangled hand means that the only movies that he's currently being considered for are The Jeremy Beadle Story, Jeremy Beadle Goes To Outer Space and a little-known erotic thriller entitled Let Me Lick Your Wrist-Nub.
Wow, this really is a lucky escape for Shia LaBeouf - every single copy of his bad new movie Eagle Eye has been destroyed in a fire. Only kidding. In reality Shia LaBeouf has had another kind of lucky escape that's less lucky than nobody being able to ever watch that rubbish new film of his but still lucky nonetheless - he won't be charged for DUI after flipping his car upside down a few months ago. It's not all good news, though, because Shia could still lose his licence for up to nine months, because he refused to submit to a breathalyzer test. Worse still, Shia LaBeouf's crash-mangled hand means that the only movies that he's currently being considered for are The Jeremy Beadle Story, Jeremy Beadle Goes To Outer Space and a little-known erotic thriller entitled Let Me Lick Your Wrist-Nub.
Shia LaBeouf Arrested For The Old Glug Glug Vroom Vroom
It's weird to think that Shia LaBeouf could ever get arrested for DUI, but that's because he looks like he's about six years old. Honestly, look at Shia LaBeouf's adorable little puppydog face - it's as if a single drop of alcohol has never passed his lips. But apparently it has - early yesterday morning Shia LaBeouf was arrested on suspicion of DUI after he crashed his car in Hollywood. Really though? Shia LaBeouf? DUI? There must be another explanation. Perhaps Shia was impaired on something other than alcohol, like Haribo or Um Bongo. And perhaps he only crashed his car because his adorable little legs couldn't stretch all the way down to the pedals, the wubby little lamby wamb.
It's weird to think that Shia LaBeouf could ever get arrested for DUI, but that's because he looks like he's about six years old. Honestly, look at Shia LaBeouf's adorable little puppydog face - it's as if a single drop of alcohol has never passed his lips. But apparently it has - early yesterday morning Shia LaBeouf was arrested on suspicion of DUI after he crashed his car in Hollywood. Really though? Shia LaBeouf? DUI? There must be another explanation. Perhaps Shia was impaired on something other than alcohol, like Haribo or Um Bongo. And perhaps he only crashed his car because his adorable little legs couldn't stretch all the way down to the pedals, the wubby little lamby wamb.
