we're famous, well-respected bloggers now which means this column is able to be even more irregular and lax than it is at current and you will still have to read it while nodding in agreement with our award-winning opinions on everything from Tulisa?s dental trauma to the death of Berlusconi?s third album of love ballads. How d’you like them apples?

Don’t answer that.

Yes you heard right Berlusconi isn't just a laughing stock in political and sexual circles, but in the music business too as his latest album is set never to be released. Our ears sagged as we heard the news that due to his stubborn loyalty to attempt to save the world's poor (by keeping the whores and human traffickers in business), everyone's favourite Italian stallion is not allowed to unleash his musical vision.