drunk at the bar - HecklerSpray

Is Brian McFadden Going To Rejoin Westlife! Of Course He Is Because They’re Out Of Ideas!

July 20th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Remember the halcyon days when Westlife were a five-piece. They all looked so perfect in photographs with their highlighted curtains and work-sweaters from River Island. They really were the most refreshing thing to get off a stool in pop since GG Allin.

Then, the band went all off-balance when, unfathomably, Brian McFadden decided to go ‘indie’, which actually meant growing a bit of a beard, wearing a parka and… well… still peddling turgid, plodding pop music. Westlife, of course, continued doing exactly the same as before (which actually means, ‘doing as they were told’) and set about becoming the most earnest entertainers in the history of mankind.

BUT WAIT! Is McFadden going to rejoin Westlife? Have they seen Robbie’s reunion with Take That and thought ‘Hey! That’s a really clever, cynical marketing ploy to shift a few more tickets and albums! Provided Brian doesn’t do that rape song…’?

Delta Goodrem And Nick Jonas Spotted Holding Each Other’s Clammy Hands

May 16th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Delta Goodrem is a singer. Now, you may find that patronising, but we thought you might need reminding as it would appear she’s only famous for having cancer and being dim enough to see Brian McFadden as a suitable mate.

Of course, once McFadden had released his date-rape classic, ‘Just The Way You Are’ (listen here if you missed it), it didn’t take Goodrem long to bin the former Westlifer off.

And now, much to screaming girls annoyance, Goodrem has been spotted out and about holding hands with crooning clone Nick Jonas.

Delta Goodrem And Brian McFadden Split, Presumably Thanks To Rapey Song

April 1st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Brian McFadden – a man of no fixed talent – can now count Delta ‘She Had Cancer Dontchaknow?’ Goodrem in the number of women he’s broken the heart of. In that collective, you’ll also find Kerry Katona. He’s got a way with the women hasn’t he?

Of course, the former Westlifer started dating the Australian singer after he split with the former Atomic Kitten and they became engaged in 2007.

Nothing of note happened for a while and then, out of the blue, McFadden released a song that was not only incredible in its awfulness, but seemed to promote date-rape (you can hear it here if you don’t believe us) which was probably the final straw for Goodrem.

Brian McFadden’s New Song Isn’t Meant To Be Quite So Rapey Apparently

March 1st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

We shared the astonishing new record from Brian McFadden over on our twitter account recently, which was rightly met by our readers with a mixture of horror and delighted bemusement. One word continually cropped up – ‘rape’.

Now, that isn’t a word that people normally associate with pop records (unless you’re talking about ‘Sweat (A La La La Long)’ by Inner Circle which has always sounded suspect to hecklerspray.

However, the former Westlifer and Kerry Katona ex has gone and made a song that sounds like it is almost promoting it. If not that, then it sounds like something that Whoopie Goldberg might call ‘not rape rape’. If you haven’t heard, fret not, we have it to listen to over the jump.