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Lindsay Lohan is Trying to Steal Kinds in Russia

September 30th, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Listen, I had had high hopes for Lindsay Lohan in 2018. She had that show coming up with Ron from Harry Potter, she was maybe going to be in Life Size 2, I mean, things were really looking up. Then 2018 shows up and bitch is dancing like your drunk great aunt at a wedding and trying to abduct kids in Moscow. Smdh.

I don’t know exactly what’s going on with Lindsay (does anyone?), but I think she’s in Russia, and she decided it would be a very Angelina Jolie move to take an Instagram live video of herself trying to save some refugees while clearly heavily intoxicated. This is going exactly where you think it might…

Demi Lovato Hospitalized for Potential Heroin Overdose

July 24th, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

As a celebrity gossip blogger, I take great joy in writing about trash, but, every so often, I have to blog on some real shit, and those days are always kind of rough. Today is one of those days, as Demi Lovato has been hospitalized for what looks like a heroin overdose.

Demi has been really open over the years about her battles with mental health, alcohol, and cocaine, but even I was blown away by this tragic heroin news.

Naya Rivera Got Arrested For Beating Up Her Husband

November 26th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Hey guys, sorry I haven’t blogged in a bit. I’ve had the sinus infection from hell and, tbh, celebrities have been boring as fuck lately, am I right? Kylie Jenner still hasn’t announced her goddamn pregnancy, so I’m left here blogging about Naya fucking Rivera, the bitch from Glee. The fuck is this shit?

We’ve all known for a while now that Naya Rivera was crazy as shit, so it came as zero shock to me when I found out she got arrested for beating her husband in front of their kid. Naya has always given me Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction dressed in Kim Kardashian cos-play vibes, so this all makes sense.

Everyone Famous is a Sexual Predator: Mariah Carey Edition

November 8th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Listen, I know this is serious and that I shouldn’t be laughing, but I just can’t stop. Read on and maybe you’ll see why. So, as I’ve been writing about A LOT lately, every time we turn around some asshole famous person is being accused of being a sexual predator. So far, it’s just been dudes being called out for their gross behavior…until now.

In the beautiful mess that is 2017, Mariah Carey has been accused of sexual harassment by her former security guard and the whole story is exactly what you’d expect it to be.

MC Lyte is Worried About Kanye West, and So Am I

June 27th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

I recently got around to watching the critically acclaimed movie “Get Out”, and, tbh, it has me shook for Kanye West. For almost a year now, Kanye West hasn’t exactly been Kanye West, if you get what I mean.

He’s been off social media, laying low, staying away from the media, and the last time he WAS being verbal out in public he was doing insane things like dissing Jay Z and getting chummy with Donald Trump. It’s like Kanye West has been replaced with a pod person, and MC Lyte has noticed.

Miley Cyrus Regrets Riding Naked on a Wrecking Ball

May 17th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

A few years back, I wrote a blog about how Miley Cyrus looks like a living version of the dirty floor of a gay dance club in the ’80s. Back in 2013, Miley was all about smoking weed, listening to rap music, and looking as ratchet and tacky af. It was a beautiful time for a blogger like me.

Now that Miley has chilled the fuck out and settled back down with Liam Hemsworth to live a relaxed beach hippy vegan life, she regrets her raunchy past, which I think is really lame.

How I’m Handling 2016 (in GIFS): Part 2

December 27th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

A couple of months back I did a blog on how I’d been handling 2016 via GIFs. At the time, I dealt with my feelings about everything from Beyoncé’s Lemonade to Brangelina’s split, the shit show election to Kimye outing Taylor Swift as shady, Brexit to the constant drivel that comes out of Lena Dunham’s mouth.

I really thought that, with a mere two and a half months left to the year, nothing could get much worse (or better). I thought maybe pop culture had blown my mind enough for one year. But nope, Trump got elected and for some reason we still let Lena Dunham speak publically. Here’s how I’ve been handling 2016’s bullshit since October 8th, when I last aired my feelings. Once again, presented in GIFs…

When Narcissists Collide: Donald Trump Meets Kanye West

December 14th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

If someone asked me to sum up the utter shit show that was 2016 in one picture, I would show them this picture of a smiling Donald Trump pointing at a smug Kanye West with newly bleached hair. I don’t understand what I’m looking at, I don’t understand why it’s happening, I’m uncomfortable, both of these people are crazed narcissists, why is this news? See! 2016, in a nutshell!

I wish I could tell you more about why the two biggest narcissists in current American popular culture decided to get together for this photo op, but I’m having trouble wrapping my head around this shit.

Why Paris Hilton Can’t Keep Friends: An Investigation

October 14th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Two hard-hitting Krysta Fitzpatrick investigations in one week?! No, you haven’t died and gone to heaven, I just get really bored in the mornings lately. ANYWAY, today I’d like to take you on a journey through the rise and fall of some of Paris Hilton’s most famous friendships.

Paris always seems to briefly have some big celeb bff, then there is a falling out and she typically trash talks them, and they never really hang out again. In fact, it kind of seems like the only best friend Paris can keep is her sister, Nicky, which is preeeeeettty lame. Like, no offense to my sisters, but if they were my only friends I’d be miserable (seriously guys, no offense).

Lindsay Lohan Continues to Make Great Life Choices

October 14th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Writing about Lindsay Lohan’s mess of a life is never fun for me because I legitimately spent years being her biggest fan and supporter, so realizing that she’s probably never going to make that big acting comeback has always been really hard for me.

Recently, Lindsay has decided to do something every ‘recovering’ alcoholic who has been to rehab more times than she can count dreams of doing: open a foreign night club!