dropped - HecklerSpray

Lindsay Lohan Dropped From Linda Lovelace Biopic, Inferno, In Favour Of Malin Ackerman

November 22nd, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

You may well dislike Lindsay Lohan for the way she’s chosen to live her life, but really, lets be honest here, she’s great because she’s so trashy. A bisexual drug hoover who gets into all kinds of scrapes. What’s not to like?

Sadly, she’s been caught be the law and violated probation, which means she’ll have to come away from all this all evangelical and grown-up. That’s no fun at all.

And sadly, despite previous promises that the production of Linda Lovelace biopic ‘Inferno’ was waiting for her to get better, director Matthew Wilder has now stated that the movie will now be shooting without Lohan.

Roman Polanski’s Victim Wants Everyone To Shut Up

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

You’d want it hushed up if Roman Polanski ever had sex with you, wouldn’t you? Because, really, Roman Polanski? Urgh.

Obviously it’d be far worse if Roman Polanski had sex with you when you were 13, then admitted to it, and then ran off to France for 30 years so he couldn’t be sentenced.

Which is why the girl at the centre of the rape case, Samantha Geimer, has announced that she wants Roman Polanski’s charges dropped. Then maybe people will concentrate on the more attractive people she’s slept with, like a plastic heron or that mouse with the gigantic ear grafted onto its back.

Barroom Rumble Charges Dropped For Josh Brolin

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Josh Brolin – everyone’s newest favourite star of movies that people don’t actually watch – has plenty of cause to celebrate.

Why? Because he’s not going to jail. Not that Josh Brolin was ever going to go to jail in the first place or anything, but it might have been a possibility after he was arrested and charged with interfering with a police officer during a barroom brawl in Louisiana last summer.

But now prosecutors have dropped the charges against Josh Brolin, so this entire story is basically pointless. Josh Brolin didn’t do something and he won’t be punished for it. Hooray.

Spider-Man 4 & 5: Kirsten Dunst Checks Out?

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

If the failings of Spider-Man 3 could be summed up in two words, they’d be ‘Kirsten Dunst’ – five words and it’d be ‘Kirsten Dunst and everything else.’

So imagine what the forthcoming Spider-Man 4 and Spider-Man 5 movies would be like without Kirsten Dust’s anemic wailing and egg-based dance routines. You’re imagining they’d be quite good, aren’t you. Well, you’re in luck, because Spider-Man director Sam Raimi is giving off the impression that Kirsten Dunst won’t feature in either of the two new movies.

Actually, we should be a bit more accurate – Sam Raimi implied that Kirsten Dunst’s character Mary-Jane wouldn’t be in the new Spider-Man movies. He also hinted that one of the new Spider-Man villains could be a vicious scaly reptilian humanoid, though, so if that doesn’t warrant a callback for Kirsten Dunst then nothing will.

Yoko Ono’s Big John Lennon Lawsuit Dropped

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

For a song that sounds like the call-waiting music you’d hear if you were phoning Satan, John Lennon’s Imagine is still bewilderingly controversial.

Recently a 15-second clip of Imagine was used in a weird creationist documentary by the man who played the teacher in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and it caused Yoko Ono to hit the roof. Yoko sued the makers of the movie for copyright infringement, but it looks like she’s been unsuccessful.

Yoko Ono has now dropped the lawsuit against the movie, presumably because the use of Imagine was covered under ‘fair use’ rules. So it looks like it’s one-nil to the creationists! You see, they’re always right! Apart from, you know, all their basic religious tenants and stuff! But still! Party time!

David Duchovny Gets Dropped For Dropping His Trousers

September 14th, 2012 By Chris Laverty

Sex (or tossing off) addict David Duchovny may get sacked as the new face of Johnston and Murphy clothing. Presumably because he can’t keep any of the firm’s pants on long enough to sell them.

If you’re British you probably won’t have heard of Johnston and Murphy, they’re a 150-year-old American retailer who flog pale jeans and diamond jumpers to old men and lots of taupe to old women. Over the pond they call it apparel; over here we call it M&S.

Lily Allen Not A Titty Model Any More

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

First the bad news, then the good – Lily Allen has become a little bit unemployed; but at least it means you won't be blindsided by pictures of her in her bra any more.

Fancy lingerie firm Agent Provocateur has decided to ditch Lily Allen as the face of its company, it's been reported.

Although Lily Allen is said to be 'gutted' about being dropped, the news does now mean that the only times you'll ever see Lily Allen in her bra are if you stalk her with a video camera or if she's about to have sex with you. Either way, we have the number of a very good doctor we'd like you to have.

Jamie Lynn Spears Gets Booted Off Zoey 101

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Before she decided to make the leap into becoming a professional pregnant schoolgirl, Jamie Lynn Spears was best known for her Nickelodeon TV show Zoey 101.

OK, that's not exactly right – Jamie Lynn Spears was best known for being Britney Spears' sister, then for being in a film where she played Britney Spears' sister, then for being Britney Spears' sister in a TV show about Britney Spears, then for being Kevin Federline's sister-in-law and then for her Nickelodeon TV show Zoey 101. Not that any of that means much any more, because it's been reported that Nickelodeon has dropped Zoey 101 thanks to Jamie Lynn's pregnancy. Heaven knows why, because we always thought that children's TV badly needed a teen sitcom about a schoolgirl with postnatal depression so severe that she routinely fantasises about dropping it out of a window. Or something.

Shia LaBeouf’s Trespassing Charges Dropped Forever

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Up until very recently, Transformers star and full-time adorable man-puppy Shia LaBeouf was in a whole lot of trouble for trespassing.

Shia LaBeouf was arrested in a Chicago branch of Walgreens last month for appearing drunk and not leaving when a security guard asked him to – but all that trouble is far behind him now. Less than one minute after his hearing started earlier today, Shia LaBeouf quickly found out that Walgreens had written the court a letter wanting to drop the charges against him. Nobody knows what cause Walgreen's sudden change of heart, but it's thought that the key phrase from the letter was "Oh, how could I ever stay mad at an adorable face like yours? Ubba dubba dubba. Ubba dubba dubba. Ubba dubba dubba dubba dubba."